


Lap Cat

by just_kiss_already_darlings



Series: The Two Cats [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Female Reader, Multi, Same timeline as Alley Cat, and yh you can help me decide if/who reader does the feelings thing for, but both stories can be read individually, idk i hope you guys like it??, like they're two sides of the same story but with their own things going on, this reader also has magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5671279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_kiss_already_darlings/pseuds/just_kiss_already_darlings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sister fic to Alley Cat, both can be read without reading the other.</p><p>You go by the name of Bagsy, living alone in your big old house your parents left you. Life is fun, happy even. You have friends, money, a roof over your head and a traumatic past that you keep under wraps (oops), what more could you want? Well, as it turns out there are lots of things you want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> did i plan this all along? absolutely not. Did i write this entire fic because i spent ten minutes laughing over the idea for one single conversation? Maybe. Enjoy.

_"I had two friends once. The three of us were thick as thieves, we always looked out for each other no matter what. Now they’re both dead and I’m alone. The first to go was Rat, we called him that ‘cause he never stopped talking about his pet rat back home. He got caught trying to escape and sent was away, or at least that’s what we were told. Smiler said he’d died and smiler wouldn’t lie. Smiler was the other, they went the same way. Or at least, I think they did. There was no announcement about it. They just disappeared one day and left me all alone._

_The thing about Smiler, they were something special. They could do things none of the rest of us could. I was the only one they ever told about any of it, or at least I think I was. I never really saw them talking to anyone other than me and Rat. The last time I ever saw them was the day they died, we’d been fighting about some stupid shit I did. Smiler wouldn’t say much about why but they were angry at me, said ‘I knew what I’d done’ but I didn’t. How could I know if they didn’t tell me?_

_I still miss Smiler, Rat too. They both went so quickly, there one day and gone the next. I graduated the institute soon after, only to find my parents, the bastards who sent me there in the first place had died in some sort of accident and my younger sibling had gone missing. Even now I’m still alone. Even three months after leaving that hateful place I’m alone. Maybe I’ll always be alone. No more than I deserve."_

The journal was embarrassing. You’d written it while you were drunk one night a few years ago and past drunk you was an angsty lil twerp. The rest just felt like a good idea at the time. You knew you really should get rid of it, more than a couple of the entries in it could get you in trouble, but something always stopped you from doing the deed. Instead, you always kept it locked up tight in your safe. Your dear departed parents had certainly left you quite the inheritance, though in reality you only got the goods because your sibling wasn’t around to claim ‘em. The kid wouldn’t know what to do with all that money anyway. Not that you knew much better, even at age 22 you didn’t have a clue.

So when you found the journal tucked neatly at the bottom of your very expensive handbag you were confused as all hell. You shrugged, maybe you’d put it there while you were blackout drunk. Okay- so maybe you didn’t live the healthiest of lifestyles. Honestly, you were just surprised that you were still alive. In the early days, after you graduated you’d started cutting yourself. At first you’d just wanted to make it so you couldn’t see those stupid fucking brands, but soon found out that there must have been some magic or funky shit there too, no matter how badly you fucked yourself up the brands would still stand out. Ugh. Eventually you decided the biggest ‘fuck you’ you could give to anyone would be to keep living, so you did.

You were doing such a good job at living that you’d even managed to drag your ass out of your way-too-big home and out to a local park. Everything was going great. You were wearing one of your favourite outfits, light blue denim shorts over white tights, a pastel coloured crop top and a matching long sleeved jacket with some flat soled shoes. Today just didn’t feel like a heel day. A blue rabbit monster was selling some ice, no, nicecream and you bought yourself one. Fuck yeah for monster food, much friendlier than human food, with or without the occasional glitter. ‘You’re doing great, good job ’ was written on the wrapper. Aww, cute. The blue rabbit was talking to a weird looking cat monster. They looked cute together.

You pull a hand mirror out of your handbag and fix your makeup, brushing your hair while you were at it. Your hair was real pain, brown and always messy. You’d tried growing it out once but now you kept it just above your shoulders, easier to brush and you looked great. You blamed your mother for the stupid unruly hair though. The thought that there was some poor twelve year old running round with the same hair problems made you crack a smile. More of a grimace than a smile but you weren’t about to be picky.

Right as some asshole decided to run off with your bag. You gave chase of course, though that was mostly a matter of pride. You were slow as fuck. Now, you happened to put great pride in your fashion sense, and the little heathen running off into the distance with your bag probably had no clue about how much that bag was really worth. The thought of your poor bag being sold or even kept by someone like that made your heart weep.

As if summoned by the gods the heathen was plucked by the back of their tatty shirt from the pavement by a rather tall skeleton monster. Now that was a sight. And a fashion disaster. What the hell was that skeleton wearing? You’d spotted him around a few times before but you’d never quite worked up the nerve to talk to him, yet alone call him out on his terrible fashion choices. A red cape and boots, speedos and whatever that white armour stuff was hardly suitable winter wear, even you’d condescended to wearing tights under your shorts to combat the cold. Actually, the monster was pulling it off rather well. You kept running until you reached it, thoroughly out of breath. You doubled over, hands on your knees until you caught your breath back. The skeleton monster started talking almost as soon as you straightened out again.

“HELLO THERE HUMAN! THIS OTHER HUMAN APPEARS TO HAVE CAUSED YOU SOME DISTRESS AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, OFFICIAL ROYAL GUARD TO KING ASGORE, STEPPED IN TO HELP.” Well, he was loud. Kind of like a puppy. You offered him a smile as you leant forward and plucked your bag out of the little thief’s hand. They were hanging limp, twirling slowly side to side in the breeze. Honestly, they looked as stupid as they probably were.

“Thanks, you might wanna put them down before they suffocate though. They’re lookin’ kinda blue.” Actually, the thought of anyone else seeing a monster holding up a human like that didn’t sit right with you, people were itching for an excuse to hurt the dudes. The skeletons eyes widened in shock and he released the other human immediately, you both watched as they ran away empty handed. “Dude, that was so cool!”

“WOWIE HUMAN, YOU REALLY THINK I’M COOL?” he paused for half a beat, frowning slightly, “WHAT AM I SAYING? OF COURSE YOU DO! I AM VERY COOL! NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I MUST FIND MY LAZY BROTHER.”

You nod and turn away, only to walk straight into another skeleton monster. You size each other up for a moment, judging by his fashion choices and skeletonyess this was the brother. Who the hell wears pink fluffy house slippers outside? This guy does.

“Hey Paps, who’s this.”

“THIS HUMAN IS ANOTHER NEW FRIEND. WAIT A MINUTE! BROTHER, WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING?”

“I’m on break.”

“YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT!”

“heh, maybe.” He turned his eyes to you, extending a bony arm for a handshake “nice to meet ya pal. I’m Sans, Sans the skeleton.”

“Hi! I’m Bagsy. Bagsy the human!” the human witch you tack on in your mind. You take the shorter skeletons had, a loud farting noise filling the air. Papyrus groans and you think he tried to roll his eyes, as if he wasn’t smiling. “the old whoopee cushion trick? Nice.”

“You’re another witch?” Oops, maybe you’d said that out bit loud. Curse your traitorous mouth! Wait, he said another witch, how many poor bastards like you were there round here?

“Yup!”

“HUMAN! NOW THAT WE ARE SO WELL AQUAINTED WE MUST EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERS!” You feel yourself brighten, your day just got ten times better. Not only did you get to talk to the questionably dressed skeleton, but you got two potential friends for the price of one!

“Hell yeah!”

You switch numbers with the skelebros and make as if to leave, part of you hoping one of them would call you back over to hang. That’s what friends did right? Wow, you really were lonely. Of course neither of them did, though as soon as you round the corner your phone buzzes.

“HELLO HUMAN!” there’s an attached picture of the two skeletons, Papyrus taking the picture while they both throw the peace sign. Two can play at the selfie game. You prove it by sending one back, leaving a cool thirty seconds in-between.

You decide to go back home after that. Back to your empty house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh... u want skelenotes here too? I can do that, skelenotes are great i love 'em. Anyways yh this is a thing, i might make a habit of saying where this lines up with the other fic too, this chapter's set just after other reader meets the monsters properly and before they have a knife time.
> 
> skelenotes:  
> I had friends once  
> Now they ded  
> That’s it that’s the character  
> Big ol’ house  
> Shhhhh  
> the great papy saves the day  
> Sans was there too  
> he didn't do much tho


	2. A meeting

You go home and get thoroughly smashed. No regrets. 

Well, maybe a few regrets when you wake up the next morning to a wicked hangover, ten texts and two missed calls, all but one text from ‘cool skele’. Oops. 

Cool skele:  
\- HELLO HUMAN!   
-SANS AND I WERE WONDERING IF YOU’D LIKE TO MEET A FEW OF OUR FRIENDS!  
-HUMAN?  
-HUMAN IT HAS BEEN THREE HOURS  
-ARE YOU OKAY  
*missed call*  
-HUMAN DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?  
-DID I DO SOMETHING? I AM WORRIED  
*missed call*  
-NEVERMIND, SANS HAS JUST INFORMED ME THAT YOU MUGHT NOT WISH TO COME MEET OUR FRIENDS SINCE WE HARDLY KNOW YOU   
-I HOPE THAT IS NOT THE CASE  
Sans:  
-kiddo you better answer for yourself, Paps is pretty upset

“Shit”   
It felt like you just kicked a puppy. No worse than that, you felt like you just shot the darn puppy. You dial the number without a second thought, Papyrus picked up on the second ring.

“HUMAN, IS THAT YOU?”

“oh my god Paps I am so sorry I uh….” Do you lie or do you tell the truth? The truth is you were happily drinking your sins away while he fretted. “My phone was on silent, I only checked it when the alarm went off.” A white lie would be better for everyone here. 

“OH! WELL THEN ALL IS FORGIVEN! DID YOU GET THE TEXT ABOUT MEETING UP WITH OUR FRIENDS? THEY ARE ALMOST AS GREAT AS I AM, NYEHHEHE!” oh thank goodness, he wasn’t mad.

“Yeah that sounds great! Really though, I’m sorry about that.” 

“EXCELLENT NEWS HUMAN! AND DO NOT WORRY, NOTHING GETS UNDER THE GREAT PAPYRUS’S SKIN!”

“Dude you don’t even have skin.”

“EXCACTLY!”

You carry on talking for a while, making plans. There’s a big dinner in two days, Saturday, that the brothers are inviting you to. Strange, you’ve only met them once and they’re already inviting you to dinner. Must be friend things. Or maybe you just left a good impression. Not that you deserve friends a snide little voice hisses in the back of your mind. You ignore it, opting instead to down a pint of water. You did have other friends, just not the kind you could casually hang out with too often. Hydration is key when it comes to hangovers, or at least that’s what Sam from the club said before the two of you had a falling out. You have a lot of falling outs. 

While you were in the kitchen you marked the date of the meal off on your calendar, not trusting your hungover self to remember to do it later. You drink some more water, just in case. 

Breakfast is a heap of self-hate with a side serving of regret, just how you like it (actually, it’s a two egg omelette with ketchup). You ate it mechanically, chewing without really tasting. It wasn’t that great, one side was slightly burnt and it was too oily for your tastes, at least you’d seasoned it properly. It didn’t really matter that you did though, your throat was so dry that you wouldn’t be able to taste much anyway. You drank yet more water and took some painkillers, fully intending to stay in the house today. That was before you glanced back at today’s date on the calendar and saw that you had plans with one of those ‘we don’t meet often’ friends. Ugh. At least you had an excuse to wear those new jeans you’d bought last week.

The water was clearly some sort of magic, you much less hungover after a fourth glass. You were dressed and ready for action within the hour, you’d have thanked Sam but after some of the shit you went through with them you’d rather hit them thank them. 

Before leaving the house you ran a quick inventory check; purse, phone (not on silent), keys and a few other general purse type things. A quick glance at the clock told you that you only had fifteen minutes to get your butt out the door and to the damn meeting point. So you spent another ten minutes on your makeup, just to annoy them.

It worked. You strutted into the bakery a full ten minutes late to be met with glares from the person sitting at a table in the far corner. He was wearing a black robe of all things, darn him and his flair for the dramatics. And weird ass robes. It made his skin look too pale, eyes too dark, looking   
about as creepy as people expected him to be. He was a sweetheart really. 

“Bagsy, one of these days I’m just going to leave when you’re late.”

“Don’t be silly, being fashionably late is totally my thing and you love it.”

“Sure I do, of course. Would it really kill you to be on time even once?” He practically drawls. Sarcasm runs deep in that man’s blood. Of all your contacts, this one is the one you meet up with most often, once a month at least.

“Ha. Anyway, why are we here again? There is a reason, right?” you roll your eyes at him as you take a seat. You’ll order in a minute.

“Hmm, well I’ve been hearing whispers. There are tensions brewing between monsters and humans. “

“Pfft, nothing new there.”

“Right, well like I was saying, one particular anti-monster group’s been stirring up more trouble than most.”

“Yeah- What’s the dust count?”

“None so far, some of them claim they dusted a few monsters but there’ve been no actual reports of any killings from the monsters. It’s just plain weird, don’t you think?”

“The monsters know they’re on thin ice up here, why bother reporting these things when the groups are practically encouraged to do it by the human police. They don’t want to cause any real trouble”

“Maybe, something still doesn’t feel right about this though Bagsy.” He frowned “Look, we both know that if there were any deaths I’d hear about them, why would the anti-monster guys bother saying they’d done something if they hadn’t?”

“Ugh, no-magics are the worst. Want a cookie?” You don’t wait for an answer, standing up and inspecting the contents of the glass cabinet, it had an impressive selection of ‘spider pastries’ (made by real spiders, all profits go to a good cause). You made your decision quickly, your pal could just get oatmeal and raisin or something no one actually liked. 

“Hello there deary, are you ready to order?” The spider woman appeared almost out of nowhere, regarding you cooly with all five of her shiny black eyes. She looked pretty darn Lolita, with a pleasant aura of ‘I’ll fuck you up and you’ll want to thank me after’.  
“Sure am, can I get two double chocolate cookies and two of whatever those things are?” you gesticulate (you love that word) towards cookies with little red berries in them.

“Ahuhuhu~ right away, are you paying by cash or card?” 

“Cash, hey the spiders that work here are they like, the little tiny spiders we have above ground or like, monster spiders?” You hand over a note, telling her to keep the change, since it’s for a good cause and you’d rather not get fucked up by a fabulously dressed Lolita spider, even if you probably would thank her after.

“Trade secret deary.” She flashes you a toothy grin and the sight of her very large, very sharp fangs makes you think twice about asking anything else. You do it anyway.

“So do you have a name? You’re cool.”

“Since you tipped so well I guess you must be a decent sort, I’m Muffet my dear, do you have a name?”

“Hell yeah I do, I’m Bagsy. The guy in the cloak over there is Wisp.”

“Those are strange names for humans, no?”

You wink at her, picking up a tray with your cookies laid out that had appeared in front of you.

“We’re pretty strange humans.” That got a chuckle out of her, though the heated glares from behind send you a message loud and clear “I should get back over there before he sets me on fire or something.” You didn’t actually know if he could actually do that, but he’d sure as hell try if you didn’t hurry up.

“Bagsy, can you stop flirting with everyone you meet, it’s embarrassing just watching you.”

“Rude! I was just talking.” You feign offence and scoop up the tray again “No delicious spider cookies for rude dudes.”

He snorts and snatches the tray away from you with ease. “Yeah right. You been up to much recently?” 

You launch into an epic tale of all your amazing deeds over the past few weeks until he looks suitably bored. Wisp was a good friend, having been through the whole ‘witch’ experience too. He was like a little information centre, always full of the freshest news and gossip. The strange unidentified cookies turn out to be raspberry and white chocolate, pretty nice. They were sweet but not overbearingly so.

“OH! I forgot to tell you about the skelebros!” he cocks an eyebrow at you “I met these super chill skeletons yesterday, some runt mugged me and one of them caught them. They’ve declared me their friend and I’ve even been invited to dinner this weekend.”

“You got mugged? Wow Bagsy, that must be a new low even for you.” He laughed and you stuck your tongue out at him. “So is this a business thing or are you really friends with these bone bro’s?”

“Uhhhhh...? and I’ll have you know they are skelebros not bone bros thank you very much!” You chow down on the chocolate cookie and almost melt. Damn that was good. The next twenty minutes were spent talking about almost anything, jobs, friends, places, who did what and who did who. It was fun, though you suspected Wisp wasn’t telling you everything and with good reason too. The bakery was quiet except for the sounds of Muffet and a few customers (all of which ordered food to go), anything and everything you said would be heard. 

“I’m getting tired, catch up again soon yeah?” You’d finally had enough, your painkillers from earlier were starting to wear off and you could feel the headache coming on. Wisp just nodded, standing up and taking the tray to the counter. 

When the two of you exited the shop he turned and did something entirely unexpected. He tugged you into a brief hug, his hands brushing your sides briefly before he pulled away again. You gave him a flat look.

“Sorry dude, I’m just not that into you.”

“No shit, I’m probably the only person on Earth you haven’t chatted up yet.”

“Yet.” You waggle your eyebrows for good measure.

You both gave short chuckles and said your goodbyes. He quite obviously patted his right side as he walked away like you would a pocket, did his cloak even have any pockets? Oh. OH. You turned and hurried away, eager to get home. 

It was maybe a half hour walk at most but in your eagerness you made it in fifteen. You all but slammed your heavy real oak front door behind you, plunging a hand into your pocket and binging out the scrappy piece of paper Wisp had slipped there when he hugged you.

You read the note.

Then you quickly dived upstairs, moving faster than you knew you could, and grabbed at your laptop. Flopping ungracefully onto your bed, you tapped your nails against the laptop, impatiently waiting for it to boot up. It took its sweet time but it got there eventually. You set up a group call, simultaneously pulling out a map from a box hidden in an alcove, half leaning off the bed to reach it.

“Hey Bagsy, what’s up?”

“I’ve got another job for you guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter takes place the Thursday before the meal, i forgot to say that in the actual chapter oops :/  
> And yes, i will explain whats up with the whole 'passing notes and secret stuffs' in the next few chapters :)
> 
> Skelenotes:  
> Why hello mr man u r my pal  
> Muffet is my newest pal  
> Look at me go im great at friends  
> Haha so monsters right  
> Paper have word


	3. got your goat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i left it so long without posting, college is busy as hell and i have deadlines to meet. It'll be back to my usual crazy amount of writing by next week, it's killing me not being able to write as much as i want. Which is kinda funny since i only picked up writing again just recently :)

Why am I writing these diaries? I ask myself that all the time. If anyone ever asked I’d probably tell them I just like to write, it’s not entirely a lie but really? In truth I guess I’m just scared. I’m already all alone, I don’t have friends, none who’d mourn for me when I’m gone. Sometimes I think things are better this way, better that no one remembers me, then I go and do something stupid. Maybe I cut too deep or maybe I have a close call with a car on the street, moments when I see just how easy it would be to just disappear are the worst, they remind me just how weak I really am. I just don’t want to be forgotten, is that really so bad? So yeah, that’s why I’m still writing these. So if you’re reading this then please, don’t forget me. Remember my name, remember who I am, who I was. I refuse to just disappear.

My father died not long after my magic was discovered and I was sent to the institute. My mother died the year before I graduated, I was told she killed herself shortly after my younger kid sibling went missing. I was left everything she had left, the house, the money and the land. I’m not complaining, I don’t have many fond memories of my family. In the seven years I was at the institute not once did they write to me, the bastards. They were probably glad to see the back of me.

You got a text the next morning from one of the people from the group chat to let you know everything had gone smoothly. With a loud sigh of relief, you flopped out of bed and spent the next twenty minutes getting ready for the day. You carefully selected your outfit, tatty jeans with a simple black shirt and a black long sleeved jacket, applied a quick touch of makeup and grabbed your bag. You needed it after a night of restless tossing and turning, what little sleep you’d had was littered with bad dreams. You hated bad dreams.

The air was cold, the streets almost empty on the way to the park. Most people would be at work already at 10am on a Friday, other than for lunch most people stayed tucked up in their warm office buildings. What dorks. Even if you needed the money getting a job would be near impossible what with you daring to have been born with magic. Instead, you could spend your days doing whatever the hell you wanted to, which usually turned out to be a whole lot of nothing.

Today you decided you were going to go to the allotment. Though you were going to go for a quick walk via park to waste a bit of time. The one and the same park you’d met the skeleton monsters at just two days ago. When you get there you find that your usual bench is occupied by a love-struck couple of monster dogs shamelessly making out. Good thing you weren’t planning on stopping. You carried on past the nicecream guy, who gave you a friendly little wave, until you reached the hotdog stand at the opposite end of the park. You hardly ever came to this part of the park, even though it wasn’t much more than 200 feet away from your usual spot. You were a creature of habit it seemed.

You were surprised to see Sans reclining against the hotdog stand, he looked dead. Of course he did, he was a skeleton. A very tired looking skeleton who was leaning on a hot dog stand. Hmm. 

You prod him. Right between his eye sockets. You were gentle of course, not wanting to accidently hurt him, even so he jerks awake as if you’d slapped him. He made a few very undignified noises of alarm. You both stared awkwardly at each other. You kinda felt bad.

“Hehe. Maybe don’t do that again bud. Wouldn’t wanna rattle my bones now would ya?”

You winced. “Sorry dude, didn’t mean to scare you” You pause, hoping it appears dramatic instead of like you were trying too hard “to death.” Yeah, you’d used that one earlier, but you hadn’t actually said it. You just have to face the bitter truth, you really, really suck at puns. Sarcasm is about the limit for your humour.

“A+ for effort, C- for delivery.” No fooling him then. He was wide awake now, alert and ready to mock you, he even winked at you! Ugh, smug skeletons making fun of your valiant effort

“Doth thou dare mock me sir? Put up your dukes!” You bob up and down in a rough approximation of a (terrible) fighting stance.

You’re met with…

A blank stare.

“Whatever language that was, I don’t speak it.”

You pout. Darn monsters not knowing ye olde English. Wait nope, darn humans trapping the monsters underground for centuries so they couldn’t learn the glories of humans beating the hell out of each other instead of the monsters they promptly forgot about once they were out of the way. Why did it always end up at humans being asses? 

Oh yeah, because humans were asses.

“Right, yeah… Sorry. I gotta go. Talk later yeah?” 

“Sure pal, seeya.”

With that you carried on your merry way, all the more eager to get to your allotment. Technically, you owned the whole- wait no, you owned half of the land. It was still a decent sized plot even when spilt in half, Wisp had somehow managed to convince you to sell some of it off to a monster who’d shown an interest in the land. You’d yet to meet whoever it was who’d bought the land, though you did have their contact number saved as ‘royal ass’ simply because you were still salty about the whole thing. Realistically you knew it wasn’t the guys fault, but that garden was like your baby. You’d given half your baby away because your friend said it was a good idea. 

You were an awful parent.

You left the park and kept walking the familiar path to your hidden sanctuary. It being winter, therefore cold as balls, you’d made the executive decision to stick strictly to low maintenance plants, mostly winter flowers and a few of the larger herb plants that would do better being planted outside than stuck in a pot. You could have been more adventurous, but even you weren’t keen on spending too long out in the cold of Winter tending to the plants. 

You arrived to find a crime scene. There were bodies everywhere, lying limp and broken in sad piles. Your babies, why. You rushed forward, discarding your jacket so you didn’t get it dirty and scooping up the wilted flowers, replanting them quickly but carefully. You hummed frantically as you worked. It was probably cats or some other animal that liked to dig up innocent plants and leave them to rot that did it, the vile things. This place was too secluded and well protected for it to have been humans.

Your tuneless humming morphed into the tune of a song you liked. Before long you were singing along to a playlist in your head without a care in the world, plants safely back where they belonged. You took a moment to admire your handiwork (still singing). It had rained plenty recently but it would still be a good idea to water some of the needier ones and maybe top up the soil in a few of the plant boxes.

The garden itself, or what you had left, was split into two halves, one made of raised boxed beds that mostly contained herbs and the other less organised and more open. At the moment only half of that space had anything growing there, a collection of winter pansies and other winter blooms (as well as a few other non-winter flowers you’d managed to coax into existence), there was a single tool shed on the border between your land and the land you’d sold to ‘royal ass’. You had to go to the tool shed to pick up a hose. 

You unlocked the door and walked in to the dimly illuminated shack. You’d expected to find a haze of dust, it had been way too long since you’d properly cleaned in here. Maybe the monster you shared it with had been keeping it clean in your stead. There wasn’t a single dust mote to be seen. Ha, maybe you should hire him to clean your dusty old house. You’d feel bad about him having to clean if you weren’t so bitter about someone else being here at all. The whole reason you even kept this land in the first place was so you could have something that was truly yours, devoid of half-forgotten memories of the life you’d never had the chance to live. 

After a bit of rummaging you found the hose nestled between a toolbox and a drawer (which contained seeds for the next season, carrying it back along the loosely worn path and securing one end to the conveniently placed tap. 

As you set about watering the plants you started singing again, a catchy tune from the underground (monsters had a healthy appreciation of the arts, you digged that).

Now, you prided yourself on your self-awareness, you were great at noticing when people were nearby or trying to get your attention, it was like your own non magical superpower, but when a large hand clamped down on your shoulder with absolutely no warning you couldn’t help but to let out a surprised screech. 

You were even more surprised when you turned around only to be face to chest with a very, very large goat man. Not just any goat man, but the king of the friggin monsters. How the hell did such a huge guy creep up on you like that? It must’ve been the universes way of paying you back for frightening Sans earlier. 

“Howdy! Are you the human who sold me part of this wonderful garden?” If he’d noticed your surprise at seeing him (how could he not, you’d screamed) he was remarkably unfazed.

“Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you.”

“We haven’t met properly yet, I’m asgore.” He offered his hand for a handshake, which you took with only a moment’s hesitation. Look at you, kind, charitable soul. Okay who were you kidding, you did it so you didn’t leave him hanging.

“And I’m Bagsy.” You craned your head to look up at him when he didn’t immediately let go of your hand. He was frozen in place, looking at you- no at your arms- with wide eyes. Oops. You’d taken your jacket of earlier, your arms were bare. He could see your scars and your witch brands.

“O-oh. I did not realise I was sharing this land with a witch.” 

Yikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll write the next chapter quickly i hate leaving it there we gotta clear this mess up. Asgore u dolt choose your words more carefully
> 
> skelenotes:  
> Walk through the park  
> My bench is taken by some smoochers  
> Good thing I’m not stopping lmao  
> Go to the allotments  
> Sing to yer plants  
> Feels good yo  
> Hello mr goat man  
> ur a royal goat man  
> well that’s rude  
> u put ur foot in it man
> 
> Okay so I'm writing the next chapter now and would you guys prefer one 2500+ word chapter with a longer time before the next update or two 1300ish word chapters spread out I can do either it depends what people want


	4. Asgore's a doofus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next couple of chapters are very dialogue heavy, then again so were the last couple of chapters. And we've had one vote for readerxMuffet, any objections or additional votes are always welcome!

“Excuse me?” You cocked your head to one side in an unspoken challenge. How dare he, a monster, with magic, judge you? ­­

 

“Oh golly, I’m sorry! That came out rather badly didn’t it? I merely meant to say that I once had a child who was a witch.”

 

“Uh, you’re a monster. How did you…?” Your brain chose that exact moment to register that this was _Asgore, the king of all the friggin monsters._ You’d been two seconds away from picking a fight with a boss monster, you’d really dodged a bullet there. Or a pitchfork, since that’s what he happened to be holding. Somehow, that thought wasn’t very comforting, even if you knew most monsters wouldn’t even think about purposefully attacking anyone, yet alone a human. You have to work hard not to let any of this revelation show on your face, keeping your expression decidedly neutral.

 

He chuckled, it was a deep rumbling sound. It suited him. “They were a human child, the queen and I adopted them when they fell to the underground.” He looked at you carefully for a long while, he looked contemplative. He was smiling but he looked sad. “You look a lot like they did actually. Older, but the resemblance is there.”

 

So now you had the king of monsters is standing in front of you saying that you look like his (past tense) kid. Well wasn’t that a doozy? Wait a darn diddling moment, a human child falling into the underground? Now that sounded very familiar.

 

“Oh! Are you talking about the Ambassador? I didn’t know they were a witch… I guess it makes sense not to make it common knowledge though.”

 

“No, it was a long time before Frisk, the ambassador, came. Many years…” Did he look guilty? Sad? It was _really_ hard to read the monsters sometimes. Not that they weren’t expressive, just that they were so different to humans. Asgore was literally a fuzzy, humanoid goat. “The ambassador isn’t a witch though, my apologies. If it’s not too much to ask, what did you mean by keeping it secret?” You hated to admit it was disappointing to hear, a fellow witch in such an official position of power would have been great.

 

You replayed your own words back through your mind so you could answer him. A straight lie would be tricky to pull off, you were awful with remembering what excuses you’d come up with and had been called out on your bull many a time in the past. The whole truth might be too heavy to bring up the first time meeting the guy though. Trying to find a way out of the metaphorical hole you were inevitably about to dig yourself into. At least you knew where the shovels were, just in case you felt the need to dig yourself into an actual physical hole too. Instead of any hole related shenanigans, your brain very kindly supplied you with an idea, even Wisp would be proud of this one. You’d tell Asgore, king Asgore, about your ‘job’. At least you’d dig a hole for yourself with a purpose. A purposeful hole. A guilt ridden purposeful hole. You could imagine it now ‘here lies Bagsy, not dead, just in the hole, on purpose because the hole is purposeful’. You really hated manipulating people, even if it was for the greater good. Good thing you hated it, you were awful at it. You always spent half your time going off on tangents or staring blankly into the void. Not that you didn’t do that when you weren’t trying to bend people to your will, more like you were overly aware of it.

 

“Witches aren’t exactly well regarded up here. It’s been a little better for us since you guys came back but before then? Well, let’s not get into all that.” He was staring at your arms again, not at the brands this time.

 

“Ahem- forgive me if this is too personal but where did you get those scars?”

 

You decide to play dumb.

 

“You mean the brands? Us witches get branded as soon as we’re reported.”

 

You know damn well that he knows what the brands are, it’s how he recognised your witchyness, that’s what the stupid things are for after all. He even said he had a kid who was a witch.

 

He catches on to what you’re doing and gives you a look, part sympathy and part frustration. Suddenly you find yourself regretting your decision to talk to the king of all monsters. Complaining about your life in the middle of the considerably large garden plot you’d sold to him only a few months ago didn’t seem like the smartest thing in the world.

 

“If what I asked was too much you need only say and I’ll let it be. I was merely inquiring.” Another, more cautious glance at the exposed scars on your arm. Luckily for you none of them looked too fresh, who knows what he might have to say about that.

 

“Nah, Like I said, things weren’t so good for us before you guys appeared. Guess we have monsters to thank for that, so uh, thanks!” You force your voice to relax some. Come on Bagsy, at least try and stay civil.

 

A shadow crossed his face and you knew you messed up somehow, but what had you said wrong? You were playing it safe, you even thanked him! Maybe he’d put that pitchfork held tightly in his grip to use… in you. He looked angry enough at least. Thankfully he put you out of your misery soon enough.

 

“Yes well, we all know who it was who put the barrier up to begin with don’t we.” He sounded as bitter as he looked. You know what? Screw diplomacy, you were pissed and you weren’t about to take that remark sitting down.

 

“What you tryna say there, _your majesty?_ ” You spat out the title, channelling your true feelings. If looks could kill you’d both be dead where you stood with the way the two of you were glaring at each other. Aww, and you’d been so close to having a civil conversation with the guy too.

 

“Seven human witches to build the barrier, seven human souls to break it down again. You cannot deny that.” You can practically hear the accusations in his voice, all ‘without witches my poor darling people would never have been kept safely locked underground!’. Ugh.

 

“You don’t know our side of things though!”

 

“Then enlighten me.” You deserved a gold medal for not punching him in his smug snouty face right then and there. Okay maybe he didn’t actually look smug, more curious than anything, but you were angry and anything but him falling at your feet and begging your forgiveness would annoy you more right now.

 

“Alright, I will!” You take a deep breath, daring him to interrupt you “Yes, seven human witches made the barrier, but they _didn’t want to do it_. The non-magic humans of the time made them, threatened their families and said they’d kill them all if they didn’t do exactly as they were told.” If you didn’t have his full attention before you certainly did now. “Then when they did it, out of fear and desperation, they were killed anyway! Something about ‘war crimes’ but we all know now it was so they didn’t tell anyone on the outside how to break the barrier. Trust me, you guys would’ve been free centuries ago if we all knew how to free you”.

 

“Instead humanity forgot we ever even existed.” Oh just gloss over literal murder why don’t you Mr king man. You don’t say that out loud but he must have read it on your expression anyway. “I wasn’t aware of what happened, I am sorry to hear it. It does not change the fact that my people were imprisoned.”

 

“Yeah but, the legends were there. People still believed, even if it was only in fairy tales. And if you must know, after the barrier was put up, witches were hunted and killed all over the place, not just the seven who formed the barrier. We still are in some places.”

 

That got a reaction.

 

“W-what! No. No, that cannot be right, there are laws! Magic is protected now, I signed the papers myself!” You felt a vein of pity at the way he floundered, almost feeling bad for him. You weren’t about to let up though, you were on a roll. An object in motion stays in motion and all that.

 

“Yes it is! It may not be legal but it happens alright. Not like anyone gets punished for it either, same stuff happens with the monsters, Asgore. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

 

“Surely I’d have heard about this… Humans are so protective of their own.” Finally, you’d gotten through to him. He looks truly sheepish now, not at all the imposing figure he’d been just moments ago.

 

“Sometimes they choose not to see us as people.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long notes ahead:
> 
> I actually wrote this and the next chapter as one but i thing 2976 words is too much when there's maybe a little under 6000 words in the story so far. since i spilt the chapter the skelenotes will be there (sorry, spoilers run rampant). 
> 
> And no, I'm not making Asgore a jerk, he's still our lovable fluffybuns. I'm reasoning that if you and your people were trapped underground for centuries and you were forced to murder if you ever wanted to be free (even tho Frisk+Asriel were just like 'nah we got dis' and tore the barrier down with one soul fewer) then you'd maybe hold a grudge against the people who did it. I'm also rolling with the headcanon i've seen around (bless who ever came up with this) that he knows what Chara did when they poisoned themselves with the buttercups. Not sure if it'll come up much in the story but i like the way that would go with the story. I think he'd see it like 'yes this child has obviously suffered I'll look after them as my own even though i could collect their soul and be closer to freedom, oh wow now they've poisoned themselves and gotten my other child killed too'


	5. murder

The flicker of guilt you’d felt earlier returned with even more force, slamming into you. Hard. You’d gone too far. He didn’t need to know that, there was nothing he could do anyway. He had his own problems and he, no, the monsters as a whole, really didn’t need more problems. You grit your teeth and change your tune.

 

“I’m sorry. It’s not as bad as it sounds I swear, I was just angry and I made it out to be worse than it really is. Point is, we never asked to be treated this way. Neither did you. We’re on the same side here okay?” good, you were back on track for your original plan. Maybe you were going too far again, hopefully this time you wouldn’t make a mess of it. At least now the king was more… pliable.

 

“You sound like there is something else you wish to say,” He chuckled “You certainly haven’t held back on anything else”

 

You mock wince. “Yeah yeah. So uh… Us witches, we look out for each other y’know? We sorta…” Deep breaths Bagsy, not like you’re giving out long kept and carefully guarded secrets or anything. “We have a network.”

 

“Like Undernet? Yes, I suppose something like that would make sense.”

 

“Yes and no. Look, we don’t usually let what I’m about to say go out of our circle but we literally look out for each other. Like, vigilante style.” He looks totally nonplussed. “There’s a few of us, we take out hate groups and stop attacks before they happen.”

 

“Is it dangerous?”

 

Well that certainly took you by surprise.

 

“No more dangerous than sitting and waiting for them to hit you first.” He nodded sagely. You found most (not all, only most) of your earlier frustration towards the large goat monster had dissipated. In its place you were filled with a purpose, a determination to see this through. “Anyway, I’m only telling you this because I want to extend the offer to the monsters too. You guys have magic, you’re targeted just as much as we are. It makes sense.”

 

“No I’m afraid it doesn’t” you wilt internally, probably externally too. You think you’re pouting but you can’t really tell, too busy in your own mind to pay attention to the actions of your body. Why would he refuse? Wisp was going to kill you! “I haven’t the foggiest idea what you are talking about.” Oh okay. Yeah, you’re not exactly well known for making sense all the time.

 

You take a long moment to figure out how to get your point across and actually be understood. You tried to channel your inner Wisp, all business and no nonsense. That didn’t work at all, you just didn’t have it in you. Instead, you made the executive decision to wing it.

 

“Okay so witches have this network we use to keep in contact, those who can gather information do and keep the others informed best they can. We all use what we have to be of use to the group, even if we just add a number to the ranks.” He inclines his head to show that he’s still with you “If we find out one of the anti magic and monster hate groups is planning an attack we do what we can to stop it, if not we try and evacuate those we can to keep them safe. We look out for each other.”

 

“That’s a very noble cause.”

 

“Daww, stop it you!” you playfully punch his lower bicep, being too short to properly reach any higher without it being awkward. Not that punching the monster king aka giant fluffy goat man anywhere wasn’t awkward. “So yeah, I’m one of the co-leaders? Me and this other guy manage the whole operation, we have a few more admins but they can only do so much. He’s a really powerful witch and he’s smart too. So what I’m tryna get at here is, we’d be open to including monsters in our circle. No wait, we _want_ to include monsters.”

 

“Like the royal guard?” He’s considering it. He’s actually considering it. You take back (almost) anything bad you’d thought about the guy, he’s actually considering your crazy offer!

 

“Sure, if the royal guard do what I said we do.”

 

“It sounds similar enough, although from the sounds of this none of your actions are sanctioned by the authorities?” He sounds more amused than cautious, you see no harm in being completely honest about this as well. You were already running out of work related secrets to spill to this guy you barely didn’t hate. Oh well, he was a guy with string to pull. Probably worth a bit of risk to get on the monsters’ good side. “The royal guard is very… _restricted_ in its’ official actions.”

 

“No we most certainly are not! Half of the ‘authorities’ are more than happy to turn a blind eye to the attacks on us. It’s why we stay low where we can. We’re not an army, we protect. We stay away from fighting unless we really have no other option.”

 

“Yes, I am aware. We’ve been facing the same issues with human authorities. You said another witch runs this organisation alongside you-“

 

“M.Net. We call it M.Net.” You supply, only cringing a little at the awkward name. Then you remember exactly who you’re talking too and relax slightly, he was worse with names than you were. Mr ‘I’m naming my home Home’.

 

“Yes, well, you said he was powerful. Are you? What kind of magics do the two of you use? Human magic is so much different than ours.” You know what he means, human magic was much more physical than the monster variety. Something to do with the way the souls work and the fact that monsters are literally made of magic while humans are energy filled flesh vessels. Okay that sounded creepy. Back on track, Bagsy.

 

“Wisp uses fire magic as his primary and he can divine minds as his secondary. He can tell when someone’s lying to him as long as he holds eye contact. As for me, I’m but a lowly herbologist. I help plants grow and can enhance their natural qualities. I’m good but not the best.” You don’t mention that’s not strictly all you can do, not even Wisp knows your secondary talent.

 

“And yet you run this M.Net.” Not a question but it may as well have been. Herbologists weren’t exactly known for their inspiring magical strength.

 

“I co-founded it way back when I was still in the institute- I guess you know them as the witch academies. That was with someone else, not the hothead. They died before either of us graduated.”

 

“I’m sorry for your loss. The death of a loved one is never an easy thing.” Asgores words went straight through you, it sounded like he was speaking from experience. You remembered the earlier conversation topic, he’d mentioned his child.

 

You looked at him again, more thoroughly. Under the thick layers of glossy white/blond fur and muscle there was something indescribably sad surrounding his countenance. You could see it in the stoop of his shoulders and the look in his eye.

 

“They were a good person. I’m glad to be carrying on our work. So what about it, do you accept our offer?”

 

“Yes, however I would like to merge, unofficially of course, with my royal guard. It sounds like we both have similar intentions anyway. That way both groups get some autonomy and we can keep our factions partnership secret.”

 

“Sure! That sounds perfect. If you have any contact information, I’ll pass word on to Wi- the other leader. We’ll also need to be in contact with the royal guard if at all possible. Preferably we can all meet up and talk about what comes next.” and Wisp can do the damn talking this time, you were useless at it.

 

 Let’s just pretend Wisp would be okay with this. That he’d look at you and go ‘oh Bagsy! What a calculated and well informed decision you’ve made! Who knew you could work such miracles!’.

 

Okay, Wisp would definitely never say that. Wisp was more likely to set you on fire, wait for you to stop smouldering and set you on fire again for good measure.

 

Asgore agrees heartily and gives you both his own and the royal guard captains contact information, telling you not to call the guard captain until tomorrow at least. He said she might need time to cool down, which worked for you since Wisp was pretty much the same. You wrap up the businessTM with the king and leave him to tend his half of the allotment.

 

You head home, still in something of a daze. You only went out to go check on your plants and you came back with a potentially life- possibly world- changing ally. Not bad all things considered.

 

Fumbling for your phone, nearly dropping it twice, you call Wisp. Better sooner than later and you want to be the one to break the news, not Asgore. As much as you’d love to hear how Wisp would handle the king of monsters calling him seemingly out of the blue.

 

_Ring…_

 

You’re want to hang up, knowing that he’s going to be beyond angry with you and dreading the inevitable confrontation.

 

_Ring…._

 

You should have run it past him first, you share the darn allotment with Asgore, you were bound to run into one another again. It was something of a miracle you hadn’t met before then honestly. What if Wisp made you call the whole thing off?

 

_Click_

 

“Bagsy what’s up? You never call.”

 

“yeah so guess what I did today.”

 

…

 

He was _so_ going to set you on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another dialogue heavy chapter, wooo! This Reader definitely talks a lot more than the other one, but uh yeah. Hopefully this explains Wisps super secret note passing (he's a total dork really, idk why Bagsy's so antsy) Another thing, Bagsy and Smiler aren't the readers actual names, just nicknames. It's easier for me to write them if they have some sort of name 
> 
> Skelenotes:   
> Walk through the park  
> My bench is taken by some smoochers  
> Good thing I’m not stopping lmao  
> Go to the allotments  
> Sing to yer plants  
> Feels good yo  
> Hello mr goat man  
> ur a royal goat man  
> well that’s rude


	6. netflix and trout

What had you ever done to deserve this?

Oh yeah, a whole ton of stuff. 

You’re trying to decide which god/all-powerful being you need to pray to to make your suffering end. Since you’d gotten home yesterday there’s been one bad thing after another.

First of all, Wisp had almost deafened you down the phone. By laughing. What a dick. Sure, yeah, laugh at the poor terrified Bagsy. Talk about kicking a girl when she’s down. Apparently your estimate of “Bagsy ima kill you with fire and brimstone” had been way off. Instead, the conversation went down something like this (give or take). 

“Bagsy… I cannot believe you actually…!” this was followed by a gross snort and another round of very manly giggles.

“I’ve already said I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking, like, at all!”

“Then please. do me a favour?”

“Sure, if it doesn’t involve you immolating me.”

His voice dropped low and serious, though you could practically hear the stupid smile he was trying to hide “Never think again.”

“What?” You’d been dumbfounded. What? Like, what?

“If that was you not thinking then please, never think again. That was brilliant!”

“Huh?” Eloquent and well spoken, your mother would be proud. Well, no she wouldn’t but that wasn’t the point.

“Look at what you did. Just look. You just wangled us an alliance with the monsters. Sure I convinced you to sell the king the allotment in the first place but I didn’t expect this. God Bagsy, this is practically a miracle!” 

He kept on talking for a long while after that but you stopped listening at ‘practically a miracle’. To sum it up, your verbal flailing did good. And Wisp found it hilarious. Weren’t you the lucky one?

Well, actually no. no you weren’t.

Apparently you now had to attend a meeting with the monster higher-ups and Wisp. Not that you’d have to put much effort in since Wisp had very kindly organised everything for you. You wouldn’t even have far to travel, since the meeting was to be held in your own home. Wisp had called it ‘a show of solidarity and trust’ while you called it a ’nope’ situation. 

Things only went downhill from there. 

It was around 4am when your phone started buzzing erratically, who the hell called at 4am? Didn’t they know you had plans for the next day? Actually, looking at who it was calling they better hope that they knew you had plans the next day given that he and his brother had invited you. That conversation had gone something like this (mostly, after you stopped frowning at your phone and actually picked it up).

“Sans? Dude its early.” Or late, but hey, it’s not tomorrow until you sleep.

“Hehe, yeah. Listen pal, something came up and Tori had to cancel the meal.” Poor guy sounded exhausted. 

“Soooo you called me. At 4am. Dude I could have been sleeping. You sound like you should be sleeping, you’re sounding pretty rough there my dude.”

“Yeah, there was a situation. Might not get time to call again later.” Well, he could have just sent a text, maybe he was too polite for that. Nah. He was just weird.

“Sounds pretty serious, everything okay?” 

“Nothing for you to worry about pal, we got it covered. Sorry for cancelling on ya at short notice.”

“well sure, no problem.” He’d already hung up at that point, leaving you feeling miffed and more than a little deflated. You’d practically based your plans for the day around the meal, now it was cancelled. Huh. Typical. Good thing you’d have probably had to cancel anyway since Wisp had organised the meeting with the monsters for around lunchtime and you had no idea how long that would have dragged on for.

You decided that you’d play the sad moping game instead, settling yourself in a cocoon of blankets, comfy pj’s and your laptop in your bedroom for a few hours to waste time before the monsters turned up. You were even going to take Wisps advice and not think about anything, not to think about your probably impending doom. Yeah. You were going to party it up instead. With Netflix and blankets. No impending doom from big scary monsters and a smaller, equally scary (when he’s not being a complete nerd) human. 

It hadn’t even been two seconds and you were already thinking about the meeting. Really, why didn’t Wisp give you more warning before springing this on you? You could have sworn you’d told him that you had plans later. True, you didn’t anymore but he didn’t know that did he? Did he? Maybe he did. This is Wisp that we’re talking about here. 

You do somehow manage to lose yourself in cheesy rom-coms and emotionally wrecking MTT flicks. Damn that robot could act when he wanted to. The monster robot. Huh, yeah that reminded you that you had guests that were due any minute now. 

Being the benevolent and diplomatic spirit you were you decided to lay out some snacks, using only what you had in your cupboards of course. Two minutes later and there were assorted cookies and bowls of popcorn on the table. You stood back and admired your handiwork. Yep, it was awful. Perfect. 

Your doorbell goes and you take that moment to realise that you were wearing your pj’s still. The blurry figure on the other side of the door looked remarkably human shaped, you feel absolutely zero regret as you turn on your heel and rush up the stairs to change into something more presentable. Wisp had a key, after the first few… incidents you’d both come to an agreement that it was easier if he could just let himself in when he needed to. Like now, while you were stripping upstairs and he was busy being diplomatic. 

You threw on an outfit (fabulous as always, if a little rushed) and dashed down the stairs. Wisp was already seated at the table with Asgore and a terrifying, buff and oddly attractive blue scaled monster with a head of brilliant scarlet hair. Like one of those fighting fish you’d seen in the pet shops. They all swivel round to look at you and you take the opportunity to bask in the ripped fish lady’s presence. The boys were there too. 

“You know Bagsy, only you could be late to a meeting in your own home.”

You grin and wink, sauntering over to sit beside him. 

“So, Undyne, this is Bagsy. Bagsy, this is Undyne, captain of the royal guard. You’re already acquainted with the king so no introductions needed there I assume.” 

“Cool. Nice eyepatch.” Nice glare too, like a little yellow laser beam shooting straight through you. Asgore is just shifting around nervously. 

“So, punk. Let me get this straight, you invite us round to talk about what, an alliance? A merger? And then you turn up late? Do you even really want to do this or not, because it sure as hell doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing.”

“Undyne…” Asgore growls in warning. You freeze for half a beat before coming back to yourself. You did kinda deserve that. Luckily, you had Wisp to back you up.

“Really, this is just how she is, it’s a Bagsy thing. It means she likes you.”

“You think that’s good enough, huh?”

You sigh, meeting her fierce gaze with one of your own. She’d stood up and crossed the table in the blink of an eye and was now towering over you while you gave her your best 1000-yard stare. So the buff lady fish was in face an angry lady fish. Typical. At least you know now that she’s not a ‘meek and mild’ type. Not that you’d even thought that a remote possibility. 

“UNDYNE! We came here for a good reason, please, control yourself for thirty seconds and sit down.”

“Yeah, not like I’ve never seen intimidation tactics before lady.” You snort and roll your eyes, purposefully brushing off the seething creature beside you and turning towards Asgore. “So, we spoke about some of the conditions of our agreement before but I think it would be best to get it in writing as well just to avoid confusion, if nothing else.” 

“Hey! I was talking to you.” You sigh again, noting the way that the two boys are gaping openly at you. In your defence, you had a headache. A quiet pounding in the back of your head that was tipping your mood over from ‘ugh’ to ‘screw this’.

“Listen here you overgrown trout, sit your angry butt down and do what you came here to do already. Yeah, I was late and I’m sorry about that, but this is my house and you’ll play by my rules, got it? And if you must know, this entire thing happened because I don’t know when the hell to stop talking, so no, I don’t really want to be here. But if even one life, monster or witch, can be saved with whatever sort of alliance we can walk away with here then it’ll be worth it.” Hmph. 

Your impromptu speech must have had some sort of an effect on the guard captain, if the shark-like smile that split across her face was anything to go by. You felt bad about the ‘overgrown trout’ thing though, she didn’t seem to mind too much.

“Ahem… so, shall we get down to business?”

As the meeting progressed you kept half an eye on Undyne, half to make sure she wasn’t about to fly at you, half for the experience of watching someone eat popcorn angrily and with an intensity that mankind had yet to reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm the butt who looked at todays date, looked at when i last posted, looked again and swore vehemently. Yep, i was so busy thinking about where to take this that i ended up procrastinating the heck out of it, wont happen again guys! (also it's half term so i can blast some writing because who sleeps on holidays? who even sleeps anymore? not me!)
> 
> skelenotes:  
> hmmm i wonder  
> y was the meal cancelled????  
> we may never kno  
> undyne is an angry beta fish u cant convince me otherwise  
> that's it that's the chapter


	7. Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll come back and edit this tomorrow, i just really wanted to get this posted today but my laptop battery is at 9% so i don't have as much time as i'd like to proofread. I'll delete this note when i've done it, all major details will stay the same though.

By the end of the meeting, which after the first five minutes you decided was _very boring_ , you’d _almost_ successfully won Undyne over. Apparently she’d ‘respected your spirit’ when you stood up to her, though she followed it up with a comment on how you reminded her of ‘a certain lazybones’ at which you’d put two and two together, looked her dead in the eye and muttered.

 

_“very punny.”_

She gaped at you for a moment, surprised but in no way amused.

 

“You know Sans?” she said it loud enough to interrupt what Wisp was saying, something about equal rights and justice no doubt, apparently Asgore found that newer vein of conversation more interesting too, though he put up a valiant effort in pretending that he wasn’t listening in (he was, it was really obvious). “Do you know Papyrus too?” She sounded almost friendly for the first time since you’d walked in.

 

“Yep!” You grinned at her. It was obvious which of the two brothers she was closest to just from the tone of her voice. Not that she seemed to dislike Sans, it just sounded like she really liked Papyrus.

 

After that the two of you started on a whole string of heated debates, you did your best to match Undynes vehement enthusiasm for just about everything. Sure, you were in the middle of a Very Important Meeting, but who didn’t have time for switching cooking tips and bickering over what anime was best? You caught the other two sneaking glances in your direction a few times but they didn’t try and intervene. While Wisp was mostly looking grouchy (he was happy for you really, he loved it when you met new people), Asgore was giving you an odd look, like you’d reminded him of something cool. Like that rock you found one time that looked like a doughnut.

 

When you weren’t talking to Undyne you were busy making ‘notes’, Wisp managed to get you to speak up and give your opinion on things once or twice. That had been a real drag, trying to string together something eloquent enough to be passable. Your notes were hastily written, bullet pointed questions that you slipped to Wisp every few minutes, some more serious than others. Not that you’d been paying attention, half of what you’d written was stuff like ‘Hey I bet that Undyne could bench press Asgore’.

 

Eventually it tapered off to a natural end, you’d all run out of things to talk about. Wordlessly Wisp handed his notes first to Undyne and Asgore, then to you to read through. All three watched as you whittled your way through the neatly written prose. The notes themselves were flawless, painstakingly recorded in perfect detail, though it seemed that he had purposely left gaps and inconsistencies in the agreements and was just waiting for you to pick them out to give you something to do. That was nice of him, though why the other two didn’t pick them out either you’ll never know.

 

Still, just before they left, Undyne pushed a sheet of folded paper into your hand with a smirk. You just smiled politely and returned the favour, you were hoping that it wasn’t a heartfelt apology letter she’d handed you or something because then you’d feel _really_ bad.

 

So, after two long hours of constant talking, the sudden silence that they left in their wake was unnerving. Undyne had said that she had business elsewhere, while Wisp and Asgore both agreed that they had nothing else to discuss without Undyne present and that enough progress had been made for one day.

 

You opened the slip of paper Undyne had given you. It wasn’t exactly a heartfelt apology, but it was certainly something. It made you forget about your crippling boredom for a good few minutes at least.

 

On the paper on front of you was a detailed drawing of your typical witch on her broomstick, though instead of the usual old crone, it was your face. Your only regret was that you wouldn’t get to see her face when she saw your rendition of her. Great minds think alike and all that. You’d drawn an actual fish with human legs and a frowny face, not quite as well drawn as the one she’d given you but still, this was _so_ going on your fridge.

 

That left you home alone. You really should have been more used to it by now, the emptiness was suffocating. You felt uncomfortable in your own home, it was laughable. You tried everything you could think of to fill the gap, pumping music as loud as you dared, letting a few machines hum in the background, and, when none of that worked, you even tried to play on your violin, humming as you did so. You just weren’t in the mood for it. Alas, nothing could solve your predicament.

 

You had to get out of there.

 

Barely even stopping long enough to throw a bag, loaded with your purse, keys and phone, over your shoulder, you fled. You remembered to lock the door behind you at least.

 

You walked faster than you really needed to, not heading towards any of your usual haunts, but towards the spider bakery. You’d only been there once with Wisp and you fully intended to add it to the ‘list of places Bagsy can be found’, no really, it was a thing. Wisp kept it tucked in the front of his notebook in case he ever needed to find you in a hurry. Good ol’ Wisp, he was always looking out for you. What a pal.

 

The sky was overcast, threatening to rain at any moment. Still, at least the air was crisp and fresh. It was still early in the afternoon so there was still some light left despite the clouds best efforts. Winter was just beginning and you were revelling in it, early enough that it wasn’t too cold and the colours of Autumn hadn’t totally disappeared and late enough that the season still felt new and exciting. But, as much as you loved the season, even you were happy to enter the cosy warmth of the bakery. And ah, this place smelled _divine_. A heady mix of baked goods and the thrum of monster magic in the air was almost intoxicating. Even better, you were the only customer, meaning that you had Muffets undivided attention.

 

“Hello again deary~” And that voice. That sweet, melodic voice. You hadn’t even realised that you’d missed the sound of it.

 

“Muffet! I have a problem.” You hide your smile and try and look serious.

 

“Oh?” She’s on to you. Still, she looks amused. She also looks wonderful, you supposed that it must be her permanent state. You couldn’t imagine her looking anything less than amazing, she was just that kind of spider.

 

“I’m afraid I’m addicted…” You flutter your eyelashes, “to you.” Then you throw her a wink and some finger guns on a whim. Not like Wisp was here to judge you for it.

 

“Ahuhuhu~ I’m flattered, truly, though perhaps it’s the delicious baked goods that brought you back here, no?” Well, that wasn’t exactly a no. You got the impression she was a tough nut to crack.

 

“Why not both? And uh, what’s good today?”

 

“Everything deary, as it always is.” She rolled all five of her eyes but she was smiling really.

 

“Oh dear, whatever shall I do now?” You drawl, eyeing the goods on display. “Soooo, wanna bet if I can eat one of everything?”

 

 

** Undyne:  **

 

When Asgore first called her up she’d been all up for this alliance, now? Not so much. How was she supposed to be able to trust these people if their own damn leader couldn’t turn up on time? This was her house, her meeting, her responsibility. The other one could come up with all the excuses under the sun for all the cared, Undyne was _pissed._

The first thing that struck Undyne was how much the human resembled Frisk, same puffy brown hair, same slight build, they even had similar faces! Ugh, humans, so little variety. Not that she held that against them most of the time, it was just something about this ‘Bagsy’ girl that grated on her.

 

Then the damn woman had swanned in like she didn’t have a care in the world, not even an apology for being late. She tried to keep quiet, she really did, but it was useless. This punk couldn’t just do whatever they wanted, not when so much was at stake. She’d snapped, said things that she’d probably regret later. Then the other human, Wisp, had spoken up for her.

 

Still, the stupid human could glare like a champ, somehow that only wound her up more. How dare she look so much like Frisk? How dare she hide behind Wisp?

 

She hadn’t even noticed she’d left her seat.

 

And the look on her face. She’d been smiling when she’d first walked in, cheerful even. Now her face was completely blank, an emotionless mask. Even her eyes were empty and unnerving, her stare unwavering. For a moment Undyne felt a pang of regret, she’d seen that look on Frisk before, knew what it meant. No, this woman was nothing like the kid.

 

Asgore was scolding her, as if she was the one who’d done something wrong, her! She’d dropped everything to make it here today, this idiot hadn’t even bothered to turn up on time!

 

So, things continued to escalate, right up until the moment the human had finally snapped out an apology, or something like it. She’d been forced to drop it after that, though she wasn’t happy about it. Going by the look on Asgores’ face Undyne could see that the gentle king Fluffybuns would have more than a few words to say to her after this. Besides, they actually had work to do.

 

She’d have left things as they were, not gotten involved, if the damned human was paying any attention to what was going on. Several times she’d stifled a yawn and was doing a very good job of looking like she didn’t want to be there.

 

The real surprise came when the meeting was over. Once both Asgore and Undyne had reviewed the notes and okay’d them, Wisp had passed them to the other human. She hadn’t been expecting much, the annoying human woman had been just as distracted while doing that as anything else, but when she passed the notes back she’d picked out things they hadn’t even thought about or flaws that they hadn’t even noticed. Well, maybe they had been paying attention after all.

 

That didn’t stop them from exchanging their little ‘gifts’.

 

Once she was safely out the door and a fair way down the street, she felt a hand clamp round her arm. She’d been half expecting a lecture from Asgore, but no, it was Wisp who’d caught her by the arm. He had a face like thunder. Heh, She’d thought he was a wimp, pretty ballsy of _him_ to grab _her_ by the arm like that. A wide grin split her face in two, sensing a fight. Now this she could get behind. Asgore had already disappeared off, he really did have something to do. Not that she didn’t, but whatever it was that Sans and Toriel needed could wait another five minutes.

 

“Listen Undyne. Bagsy is my partner sure, but she’s more than that. She’s my friend.” What the hell was he talking about? She knew this already. Still, the look in his eyes was unnerving, dark against the pale white of his skin. She felt like she was being trapped in those eyes, not in the poetic way either.

 

“Get to the point already, I got places to be.”

 

“I know she can be difficult to deal with, but you can’t let that cloud your judgement. Bagsy’s good at what she does, no matter what you think, it’s true.” He removed his hand from her arm, finally. Still, she hadn’t been expecting this. She didn’t quite believe what he was saying, after that display it would take more than that to win Undyne over. “Hey, you saw what she did at the end with the notes, right? That’s the sort of thing I’m talking about right there. And just how do you think she won over your king if she’s even half as incompetent as you seem to think she is?”

 

She… hadn’t thought of it like that. She didn’t even know how tense she’d been until she felt herself relax, the steam knocked right out of her.

 

“So you’re saying that I caught her on a bad day?”

 

He sighed “No, not quite… Bagsy, she has issues. We all do, but especially her. No matter how right she is she’ll find something she did wrong and beat herself up over it after. It can be useful sometimes, like just now, but other times? Not so much.”

 

That sounded familiar to Undyne. Dammit, now it’d been pointed out to her it was obvious, Alphys did it all the time. First it was the Amalgamates, her other lab experiments, even the way they’d got together. But why had the human been so damn irritating, surely no one could be that irritating by accident, right? Unless…

 

“So she messes things up on purpose?”

 

“Exactly,” He looked pleased to say the least. He wasn’t trying to be intimidating anymore, he sounded more like an exited child talking about their favourite thing now “she’d rather make a mistake on purpose and know what she did wrong than to have to figure it out herself if something doesn’t go right for her. It’s a coping mechanism I think.”

 

“Yeah, I get that. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I was so tough on her. Is it always that bad?” The woman hadn’t been paying attention, hardly contributing, doodling instead of making notes and generally being a royal pain. If she was always like that then she shouldn’t be working, no matter how good she was. Stress would only make things worse, Alphys had taught her that much.

 

“No, something must have happened. I’ll keep an eye on her for a while but she should be fine. Thanks for understanding, it means a lot. To both of us.” His entire demeanour changed in a moment, the air around him crackling and radiating heat. Undyne felt her hackles raise, fight or flight instincts kicking in. “That being said. Hurt her, or any of my witches, and **_you’ll wish you never left the underground_.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Undyne is blinkin hard for me to write wow.
> 
> Skelenotes:  
> Cool rock yo  
> Undyne’s a pal now  
> Buuuut the meeting is over  
> What do do I do now  
> I do the sad  
> Muffet is bae  
> Undynes pov


	8. Melancholy

Melancholy.

 

That was the word for it, ‘ _a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause’._

It had been days since you’d last seen any of your friends. Aside from your now daily visits to the spidery bakery that was. Wisp and the other witches were busy doing their thing without much input from you, though Wisp did call or text you at least once a day. He’d declared that you needed some time off, he tended to know your emotions better than you did half the time so you trusted that he was right. Though it was more than a little frustrating being so powerless, only being a herbologist meant that you rarely went out into the field with your brethren, instead you worked mostly behind the scenes. At this point that much was routine, your normal.

 

What really surprised you was that you’d hardly heard from any of the monsters recently. It almost felt like the skeletons were ignoring you, though you weren’t about to press them. Hey, maybe they’d just clued up to what a loser you were and decided they didn’t want a part in that, or maybe they were just busy. Sans had said that something had come up before, they were probably just still dealing with it. Usually people at least had the decency to let you know they didn’t like you before dropping contact and that hadn’t happened yet so you weren’t too worried about it, really, you weren’t. You hadn’t even bumped into Asgore again, though you hadn’t exactly been spending much time at your garden.

 

To top it off, you couldn’t even work up the nerve to initiate contact yourself. Every time you picked up your phone with the intention of calling or texting someone you found you just couldn’t do it. More than once your poor phone had found itself launched across the room in your frustration.

 

All in all, it sucked.

 

But none of that could explain why you felt so empty.

 

You felt like a living shadow, spending your days drifting around. You ate when you were hungry, slept when you were tired, but other than that you couldn’t really say what you’d been doing with your time. Mostly just getting lost in the depths of the internet and/or music, a whole lot of nothing.

 

After what you think was the third day, you’d started going to see Muffet. Of course you didn’t outright say it, Wisp would fall off his chair laughing if he knew. As far as anyone else was concerned you were there for the heavenly sweets, not the arachnid. She was good company, when there were no other customers waiting to be served she’d come and sit with you. After your little stunt with the ‘let’s buy everything on the menu’ she must have decided you were adequate entertainment.  You’d managed to eat over a half of what you’d bought, much to everyone’s surprise. The look on her face the first time had been worth the stomach cramps later in the day. You were just waiting to try and do it again when there was more people traffic to gawk at your marvellous feats and you hadn’t spent the whole day snacking. Muffet was all for it, as long as you still payed for it of course.

 

It had helped, for a little while. Then you felt just as hollow as before. Maybe even more.

 

You’d been standing in your living room playing a tune on your violin when your doorbell rang for the first time in weeks. You weren’t expecting any visitors and you’d already had your mail delivered that day, so you genuinely had no idea who would be at the door.

 

You must have spent too long gawping at the door, because the next thing you knew there was violent knocking. You tucked the violin under your arm and went to go open it before whoever it was left too many dents on it. Maybe you’d even turn whoever it was who was pummelling your door in for door abuse.

 

The first thing you saw was an armoured chest plate. The second was the tall skeleton wearing the chest plate.

 

“Paps!” You grinned, though the smile faltered when you realised something odd “How do you know where I live?”

 

“UNDYNE TOLD ME!” He hit a fist against his chest triumphantly, his red scarf fluttering magnificently in the wind, he’d said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Then he practically pushed you out of the way to come inside, not giving you the opportunity to turn him away. Not that you were going to, actually you were more than happy to see him.

 

“Heh, yeah you should really check your phone more kiddo.”

 

“You’re telling me, I must have called her like, a hundred times!”

 

Sans and Undyne both trouped past you after Papyrus. Honestly, you’d been so busy with Papyrus that you hadn’t even noticed that the two of them were even there. Bad Bagsy. Undyne had at least six very heavy looking carrier bags hung over one arm. You just stood there looking like an idiot. San gave a low whistle and looked around, while the other two headed straight for your kitchen.

 

“Pretty nice place you got here, huh?” He’d turned to you and lifted a bone-brow curiously.

 

“My parents left it to me when they died.” Your voice was flat with none of its’ usually inflections or enthusiasm. Of course Sans picked up on it. You hadn’t even meant to say it really.

 

“Sorry, sore subject, right?”

 

You shrugged “Not really, hadn’t seen them in years. They weren’t particularly nice people. I feel sorry for the other kid.” He motioned for you to keep talking, so you did. No point in not telling him, Undyne probably already knew from Wisp, and if she knew, why not Sans too? “I had a younger sibling, last I saw them they were still tiny. Got shipped off to the insti- ‘witches’ academy’ after that. Never heard from the kid again, they went missing before I graduated. Not really much more to it than that.”

 

“Huh. That’s rough buddy.” Then he turned and followed the others into your kitchen. You were kind of glad that he’d just let the subject drop instead of pushing you to say more. You weren’t one for keeping secrets, not by any means, but there were still some things you didn’t particularly enjoy talking about. You were finally over the shock of them turning up unannounced on your doorstep, now you were just wondering what the hell they were doing here.

 

“AH! HUMAN, UNDYNE TOLD ME THAT SOMEONE TOLD HER THAT YOU WERE NOT FEELING AT YOUR BEST, SO UNDYNE, MYSELF AND SANS DECIDED TO COME AND MAKE YOU SOME… WHAT TYPE OF SPAGHETTI DID YOU SAY IT WAS AGAIN UNDYNE?”

 

“Upsetti spaghetti.” She supplied.

 

“AH YES, WE DECIDED TO MAKE YOU SOME UPSETTI SPAGHETTI.” You leant back against a counter and copied Sans’ earlier expression, raising an eyebrow towards the three. It was a sweet sentiment, though it wasn’t much of a stretch to figure out who might have told Undyne you weren’t ‘feeling at your best’. You only had two mutual acquaintances other than the skeletons and only one of them you talked to often.

 

“Upsetti spaghetti…?”

 

“YES! EXACTLY THAT!”

 

“Why?”

 

“WE’RE MAKING YOU SOME UPSETTI SPAGHETTI, SO YOU CAN FORGETTI YOUR REGRETTI!” Papyrus was positively beaming, posing as if his life depended on it.

 

You couldn’t help but choke out a laugh, even as Undyne burst into a loud fit of hysterics. That was amazing. You had to clutch onto the counter you were leaning on with your free hand to stop yourself from doubling over from laughing so hard. Sans was grinning too, though he always was, casting a fond look over at his brother.

 

“Good one bro.”

 

“YES, WELL, I AM RATHER AMAZING! AND IN ORDER FOR MY SPAGHETTI TO REFLECT MY COOKING PROWESS, IT WILL HAVE TO TAKE AN ADEQUATE AMOUNT OF TIME TO REACH OPTIMAL GREATNESS! SO PLEASE GO AND RELAX WHILE I FLEX MY CULINARY MUSCLES!” He then ushered you and Sans through into the living room with Undyne trailing behind. You doubted that anyone, yet alone a guy with no muscles, _literally_ , could force Undyne to go anywhere she didn’t want to go.

 

“Soooooooo, you guys like violin?” you wave your violin, which had been neatly tucked under your arm since they’d arrived at them. You could almost convince yourself that you only asked to give yourself something to do, not that you wanted to show off. Why would you want to show off? You, Bagsy, would never even consider showing off.

 

“I’m good. I’ll go keep an eye on Paps, make sure he doesn’t blow anything up this time.”

 

Sans promptly disappeared. He actually vanished, you blinked and he was gone. Neat. You wished you could do that, just ‘poof’ away from things whenever you wanted.

 

You shrug and flop down into your ludicrously comfy and not as expensive as it could have been sofa. Undyne follows your lead, sitting a reasonable distance away but not so far that it would have been awkward.

 

“Hey punk, what’s up with those funky lookin' scars?”

 

“Which ones? I got a collection.” You were wearing your arms bare today, not expecting visitors and not planning to go out you’d assumed that it was safe.

 

“Uh, all of them, duh.” She had the gall to roll her eyes at you.

 

You launched into your standard explanation of your scars, starting with the self-inflicted ones. She took that well, looking between your arms and your face one, two, three timesWell, she asked for it and you’d give it.

 

“Honestly it’s just tradition at this point, a way to mark us as different. It’s easy enough just to keep ‘em covered. You got any neat scars?”

 

“Do I ever!”

 

That led you into almost frightening tour of Undynes various war wounds, though she pointedly ignored you when you asked about her eyepatch. Who knew one woman could have so many scars in such an interesting variety of places. She was practically stripping in order to show off some of the more impressive marks, rattling off a story for each and every one. Really, you were learning a lot. Like how she obviously never skipped leg day. Or arm day. Or ab day.

 

Eventually Papyrus declared that the ‘upsetti spaghetti’ was ready, saving you from Undynes impromptu tour of her body. You all shuffled your way over to the table while he excitedly doled out the portions, yours came first. The polite creature that you were you waited for the others to be served too before tucking in. The spaghetti looked just like normal spaghetti, if a little clumpy in places. It was still better than anything you’d ever made, you could tell that much just by looking. And Papyrus had made this especially for you. It almost brought a tear to your eye just thinking about it. Even Undyne didn’t seem to hate you anymore.

 

“Bro, what about a toast?”

 

“GREAT IDEA SANS! BAGSY HUMAN, YOU ARE NOW A TREASURED FRIEND AND WE ALL HOPE THAT YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE JUST THAT. WE ALSO HOPE THAT YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER THAN BEFORE AFTER TASTING MY MARVELOUS SPAGHETTI, THOUGH YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT SHOULD YOU EVER FEEL BAD AGAIN IN THE FUTURE THAT WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU TO COME AND TALK TO. ESPECIALLY I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEHEHE! … HUMAN ARE YOU OKAY?”

 

No. no you were not okay. You were blubbering like a baby. You sniffled and force the tears to stop, not wanting to worry any of them. Stupid emotions.

 

“Dude, that was so sweet. I- I literally can’t. Oh my god. Wow, you don’t know how much this means, thank you. Really, thanks guys.”

 

There was a chorus of ‘awws’ and then all sentiment was forgotten as you all started to eat. You were right, it was better than anything you’d ever made. You told Papyrus as much and he’d practically glowed with pride. Then he started excitedly babbling about his cooking prowess and then Undyne had jumped in. The two were lost in the world of the kitchens after that, forgetting that you and Sans were even there. You took the opportunity to speak with Sans again.

 

“Sooooo, what’ve you all been up to recently?” It was your subtle way of asking ‘hey guy, where were you all this time?’.

 

He seemed to wince, shifting in his chair. Difficult to tell his facial expressions when his face was stuck in a permanent smile. Or at least you assumed it was stuck, you’d seen stranger things honestly.

 

“One of our friends got attacked, remember the other witch I mentioned before? Yeah, them. Me n’ Tori are looking after them until they move in with some friends of ours. It was a real mess, Paps had to heal them, he was wiped out for days after. It all turned out fine in the end though.” Well, as far as excuses go that was a damn good one. You were intrigued though.

 

“Strange, I haven’t heard about any witches being attacked recently. Guess they weren’t one of ours then.” He gave you an appraising look, then glanced towards Undyne. You could tell he was thinking about something, putting two and two together. You sucked at keeping secrets, you already knew that. Even so, you probably should have checked it was okay to tell them before you went and stuck your foot in it. Undyne didn’t seem to care though, only pausing her conversation long enough to glance across at you. Guess the whole M.Net thing wasn’t gonna be a secret then, not from your friends.

 

“AH YES, HUMAN THAT REMINDS ME!” Papyrus broke off your conversation before Sans could answer, what good timing. “I AM TAKING SOME OF THE MONSTER CHILDREN TO THE PARK TOMORROW AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ACCOMPANY ME!” He started sweating nervously. A skeleton, sweating. Monsters were awesome, screw science, magic’s where it’s at. Well, you already knew that even before the monsters entered the scene. “I UH, I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ASK OF YOU SOME ADVICE.”

 

“Yeah sure Paps, why not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going to carry on until they left but it was long enough as is. funfact: i have a very similar but very different version of this chapter written in which Undyne and Bagsy play the piano/violin together. Maybe another time, yeah?
> 
> Skelenotes:  
> Paps brought apology pasta u can be going with this  
> Forgetti the regretti u got sum spaghetti  
> Like hell yeah free food  
> I love this skeleton  
> Bagsy plays like, a thousand instruments btw  
> First Smiler with their bloody cooking now this  
> When will authors suffering end


	9. More than what you say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be updating this story a lot faster than the other one so i can try and catch up timewise without skimping out on the details, i really do love Bagsy more than i expected to at first. A whole lotta plot's about to go down and i want both stories to be at the same point in time so people reading both have some sort of suspense going on in both.

“You just gotta do it by the book dude.”

 

“REALLY? BUT I HAVE TRIED TO FOLLOW THE DATING MANUAL WORD FOR WORD BUT HE’S NOT CONVINCED OF MY AFFECTIONS!”

 

“Okay, then screw the book. Do whatever feels right dude, be proactive. If the dating manual’s too tame then just go for it. Follow your instincts.”

 

You were sitting in the middle of a playpark, children whizzing past at alarming speeds. Luckily you and Paps only had to keep an eye out for three of them. Two monsters, one a cute little rabbit monster and the other an armless yellow reptilian. The human had turned out to be the ambassador of human monster relations, which was pretty neat. Already the little tyke had diffused at least three arguments and you’d all only been there for ten minutes.

 

You figured that the kid had a firm grip on the situation, clearly Papyrus thought so too since he’d wasted no time in grilling you for ‘dating advice’. So far it had mostly just been you racking your brain for all the half-baked encouragements you’d picked up on over the years. Hey, you were a flirt not a dating expert. Papyrus either didn’t know the difference or he didn’t care. You suspected the latter.

 

“So why are you asking _me_ this anyway? Why not Undyne or Sans?” Or anyone who isn’t you. Sure, you loved the guy in the most platonic of senses, but love guru wasn’t high up on your extensive list of talents.

 

“WHY WOULD I ASK MY BROTHER!” He looks positively scandalised. Oops.

 

“Uh, well he’s got a partner right? Tori?” You hope you’re remembering it right, he’s only ever mentioned her in passing. Casually, not like he’s ashamed. More like he was used to people knowing and you, being new to the group, were left to piece together the odd hints people dropped about who did what (and who did who).

 

“BUT HE’S MY BROTHER!”

 

He had a fair point, if you had a brother to hand you doubt you’d ask them for dating advice either.

 

“Okay, what about Undyne?”

 

“OH MY GOD. NO.” he looked around, there were no children nearby to traumatise so he carried on. “I ALREADY TRIED! SHE LAUGHED FOR A FULL TEN MINUTES THEN SAID SOME TRULY OBSCENE THINGS!” Okay, yeah. You could totally imagine Undyne doing that. “METTATON IS A FRIEND, I WOULD NOT WANT TO FORCE HIM INTO ANYTHING HE WOULD NOT CONSENT TO!”

 

“Holy shi-“ A low flying ambassador ran in front of the bench you were perched at, even you didn’t tend to swear in front of innocent ears, especially not Very Important sets of innocent ears. “-izzle, Mettaton? Like, the robot actor? The star of the underground Mettaton?” Cripes. You were in waaaay over your head with these people. King of monsters, captain of the royal guard, ambassador of monster human relations and the future beau of the most famous monster to strut this earth. It put your own title to shame, really, ‘co-leader of M.Net/the Witch Resistance’ didn’t really measure up. Well, not when you knew that what it really meant was ‘bunch of nerds with awful fashion sense trying in vain not to be murdered and stuff’.

 

“YES THAT’S HIM, OH HELLO FRISK!” and that was the end of that. Frisk hurriedly signed something at Papyrus, something that made him frown and look around. In that moment, you really wished you could sign. Instead you passed them your phone to type on.

 

“What was that Frsiky-froo?” There was a series of rapid-fire tapping then the phone was passed back to you.

 

_I think we should leave now. I’m hungry._

 

“But we literally just got here.”

 

“THE QU- TORIEL SAID THAT YOU’D JUST HAD LUNCH BEFORE YOU CAME!”

 

They pulled their own phone from their pocket and carried on tapping away. Huh, kid looked about 7, you hadn’t expected them to have a phone for some reason.

 

_Please? Can we go get some nicecream? I’ll pay!_

“Kid, you’re like, three. Not gonna let a five-year-old pay for me. Besides, don’t you know how I got my name?”

They frown at you, confused.

 

“It’s ‘cause I got bags o’ money. Hey Paps, you gonna be alright looking out for the other two while me and the squirt grab a round of flavoursome ice?”

 

“WHY OF COURSE!”

 

And off the two of you trot. You almost melted when the kid wrapped one of their tiny child hands around your slightly larger adult hand and let you lead them off in the direction of the nearest nicecream stand. It was a bit of a walk but not too far, five minutes at most.

 

It was no surprise to see the familiar looking blue rabbit talking with the cat monster, the duo seemed to somehow be at every nicecream stand anywhere, what was a surprise was when the ambassador shook their had free and launched themselves at the two like a mini torpedo.

 

“Little buddy!” They chorused, both wrapping the kid in a very fuzzy and warm looking hug. Aw, what a touching reunion. You didn’t miss the way that the two monsters were hugging each other as much as they were the kid. Really, if Paps and the two other kids weren’t waiting on you then you could probably stand here and watch this all day. Then, as if in answer to what you were thinking, they both noticed you hovering a few feet away. 

 

“Oh! I’m sorry, how can I help you?” the rabbit grinned sheepishly, jumping back from the embrace like he’d been burned, or had his wrist slapped.

 

“Uh I’ll have,” you try and count in your head how many you’d need for everyone, three kids as well as you and paps. “six nicecreams please?” Damn, but you were bad at maths. Or maybe you just wanted to buy Frisks affections with an extra treat for the walk back, the world may never know.

 

You paid, got the goods and managed to pry Frisk away from the stand and the two monsters by it and started back towards the play area all in the space of a minute. The kid slipped their hand into yours again, reminding you of how they’d let go before of you to throw themselves at the little tykes’ friends. You weren’t about to let that go unpunished, so you started pointedly swinging their hand back and forth as far as their tiny little arms would allow. They squawked and giggled the whole time so you assumed you weren’t hurting them, that was the last thing you wanted to do, this kid was too pure for that.

 

You’d hardly been walking a minute when out of nowhere Frisks hand yanked itself from your grip.

 

You spun round, expecting to see them half a step behind you or halfway through throwing themselves at yet another friend. Instead you found yourself facing down with the ugliest man you’d ever seen. Well, physically he looked fairly average, but he had a vile aura surrounding him, the kind of guy that made you feel slimy just by being near him. That made him ugly more than any physical trait ever could. It also didn’t help that he was totally ignoring you in favour of shaking the kid violently, one hand knotted in the child’s hair and the other poised as if to strike them. He was totally ignoring you, which was rude to say the least.

 

Well, fuck this!

 

You dropped the nicecreams in favour of grabbing him by his slimy, stinking arm. Ew. _Now_ you had his attention. The dumb brute was just staring at you in confusion. Maybe it had something to do with the way you, a petite girl, rendered his ham hock of an arm immobile with seemingly no effort. See, there were two types of anger, cold anger and hot anger. Cold anger was calculating and empty, where hot anger was all emotion and action, and right now? You were juggling with both.

 

“Hey there dude, wanna let the kid go?”

 

He sneered at you, ugh, even his teeth were foul, his breath was positively _rancid._ This guy was just a walking bad guy cliché. It wouldn’t surprise you to find out that he drowned puppies and stole candy from babies in his free time. “And why should I do that girlie?”

 

You kept your expression neutral and tilted your head in a way that made your hair slip away from your neck, letting the light catch off of the brand that rested there. You’d half hoped that he’d been the type of bigot who ran screaming at the mere mention of magic, but apparently ‘child beating rotten bastard’ just wasn’t enough for him. He barely even reacted to your brand, other than jerking his arm away from where you were gripping it.

 

He’d let go of Frisk in favour of lunging at you, but he missed as you dodged to one side. He was slow and clunky, it wasn’t exactly hard to get out of the way in time. The kid obviously had a decent brain in their head, since they immediately ran off in the direction of the playpark, tiny legs pumping as fast as they could. That got them away from the scene and out of the danger zone, and since things had gone to hell for you then at least they could go get help. In the meantime, that left you alone to deal with this guy.

 

“So, you come here often?” You half joke, baiting him as he swiped at you again. He let out a low growl of frustration when he missed a second time. The third hit caught you by surprise and connected hard with your face. It stung like a bitch but you took the opportunity it provided to duck down square in front of him, on instinct you found yourself reaching out with your magic until you felt something click and slip loose. Perfect. “Because I really think I’d remember seeing a soul as putrid as yours.”

 

He made a strangled noise when he saw what you were holding out in front of him. His eyes, the same yellow flecked brown as his soul darted around wildly, as if expecting a monster to be hiding behind the bushes. It was common belief that only monsters could pull a human soul from its body after all, and here the two of you were, his soul suspended in the palm of your hand and not a monster in sight. Eventually, his eyes settled on yours again, blown round with fear. That was your influence, of course.

 

See, with souls, it was all about intent, it affected the monsters the most, what with their body and soul being a physical manifestation of their magic, but with humans it was different. Unless their soul was free from the body, intent can’t affect them half as much. Or at least, you’d figured as much using what little knowledge you had on the subject, you could hardly just waltz up to a monster and be all 'heyyy there pal, wanna see if i got my facts straight?' when there was no way you could even begin to explain how you found out anything to begin with, could you? This guy though? You held his entire being in the palm of your hand, you fully intended to put the fear of god in this man.

 

Maybe you were pissed that he’d try and grab a sweet kid like Frisk from right out under your nose, but for his soul to be in such a sorry state who knew what other stunts he’d pulled in the past. A soul didn’t fester easily. Even as you held it, his own intent radiated outwards, strong but ineffective.

 

A quick but harsh squeeze forced him to his knees, air leaving his lungs with a heavy grunt. He was immobilised, powerless to fight back. You were disgusted and angry, seething with rage at what you saw reflected in his essence. He’d been going to hurt Frisk, hurt them so badly that you couldn’t even bear to think about it, hurt them like he’d hurt others before. Monsters and humans alike had suffered because of him, because of his warped sense of justice. Even you, the ever jovial Bagsy couldn’t find anything funny to say.

 

You wouldn’t actually hurt him, summoning the soul and scaring the evil right out of him was about your limit, even for a guy like this, but you would happily use your intent to hold influence over him. You had a friend, a terror witch who could project their intent outwards to influence how the people affected would perceive their environment, like an emotional aura that affected anyone it touched. What you were doing was basically the same thing, only more powerful. Concentrated emotion being channelled directly into anyone’s soul would be hellish, or whatever you made it be really. For this guy, it was pure suffering all the way.

 

Focusing on the soul, you tried to press into it a feeling of abject terror, pain and, most importantly of all, silence. You couldn’t have this man running off to tell all his friends about the scary witch lady now, you were only supposed to be a herbologist, so of course if he even thought about telling anybody about this encounter, he’d regret it. Soul summoning was a few steps higher up on the list than a bit of plant growth, though the basic principles were almost the same. You wanted to wince as you let the heart shaped monstrosity float back to its rightful place. Pity wasn’t something you’d expect to feel for someone like that, but watching the way he shook in his boots, a dark stain spreading down the front of his trousers, before turning and fleeing without even looking back, no doubt to go puke somewhere, it really made you feel bad for him. You’d done that. Reduced a grown man into a quivering mess.

 

That’s why you could keep this secret above all others. It was too much, you could do too much damage. It would be all too easy to use a power like this as a weapon. You didn’t want to become a weapon, so you rarely used your abilities. Under any other circumstance in a confrontation like that, you still wouldn’t have. But Frisk was still just a kid, so young and innocent and he’d just tried to hurt them so badly you couldn’t take it, you’d lashed out. You couldn’t bring yourself to regret it.

 

You only wished you’d had someone to do the same for you when you were younger.

 

No, that was a selfish thought and you knew it. The past was the past and no amount of bitterness could change that. All you could do was try and make things better for whoever came next, so nobody else would have to suffer as badly at the hands of old prejudices. Or at least that’s what you told yourself at that moment or whenever you found yourself lying awake at night filled with crippling guilt over all the injustices people like you suffered that you were doing nothing to prevent. Wasn’t that a doozy.

 

Something cold soaking through your shoes brought you back down to earth, the nicecreams were ruined, trampled and melted on the ground. What a pain in the ass. You huffed and turned back the way you came, thanking your lucky stars that you didn’t have to worry about money.

 

Papyrus caught up to you barely even a minute later, the kid trailing a way behind, clearly trying not to be seen, though they were giving you an odd look, they were probably wondering what had happened while they’d gone for help. Paps was worried to say the least, he must have run the whole way to get to you as fast as he had, the whole confrontation with the man had barely lasted two minutes and it would have taken the kid time to get to him. He only slowed down when he saw you walking down the path towards him.

 

“BAGSY HUMAN ARE YOU OKAY?”

 

“Yup, I’m all good Paps. I got nicecream.” You grinned and held up your bounty, pushing what just happened behind you so you could enjoy the rest of the day.

 

And you did. You had great fun and if anyone noticed the beginnings of a black eye blooming from where the man hit you, they didn’t point it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bagsy: resident badass
> 
> tbh i don't believe anyone would have not pointed out if their friend was injured, more like Paps wouldn't mention it in front of the children and Frisk knew something had happened and didn't want to put Bagsy on the spot, figuring that since everything's okay now then they can ask again later. Either that or i'm calling creative license, fight me. 
> 
>  
> 
> skelenotes:  
> Hey paps what up  
> Yes u should totally date the man  
> U gotta be bold  
> Make the move and tell me about everything afterwards wow  
> K so srs bsnss  
> Weeeoooweeeooo Bagsy’s out on call  
> Oh gross that’s a nasty mofo  
> Gotta put the beat down on him  
> nice...cream


	10. Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just answer the question guys

“What in the world happened to your face?”

 

“Aww, I love you too buddy!” you grinned at Wisps affronted expression. Despite your best efforts, no amount of ice could have stopped the black eye and no amount of concealer could cover it. And that Wisp had chosen the very next morning to turn up unannounced… well, that led to an awkward standoff if ever there was one.

 

“I’ll just go and make us some tea…”

 

Oh yeah, Asgore was there too.

 

“So… your face.”

 

You pouted, flashing him the BagsyTM puppy eyes, playfully bopped him on the nose and turned to leave. It’s all you could do to not run into the kitchen and cower behind Asgore because you damn well knew how Wisp was going to react to what happened, even with your carefully edited version of events. You really didn’t want to have to explain yourself in front of Asgore. “We have a guest Wisp, now’s not a great time!” You hissed at him under your breath.

 

Wisp could be too much sometimes. Simply because he knew you too well, he’d picked up on you avoiding the subject. With a mutinous glare and a tight lipped smile that told you all you needed to know he turned to Asgore and declared:

 

“Did you know Bagsy got attacked yesterday?”

 

Asgore looked between the two of you with a tiny frown creasing the white fur between his brow. He shifted on the spot and if you didn’t know any better you’d almost say he looked… sheepish?

 

“Yes, actually I did.”

 

“What? How…?” you gaped, an odd little feeling of betrayal worming its way into your gut. It was stupid and irrational and you hated it, but yep, there was the feeling.

 

“Between Frisk and Papyrus I must have heard the story at least thirty times before dinner alone.” He chuckled, his black eyes lit up with amusement. You couldn’t even be mad at that face. That happy, fluffy, not-so-little face with the dark eyes that were looking right at you.

 

“So are you going to fill me in or are you going to stare at each other for the next century?”

 

“Staring is good, especially with a face like that.” You winked at Asgore and the moment was gone, punctuated by a tired groan from Wisp who had put up with your antics one too many times to humour you anymore.

 

A mug of tea was promptly shoved into your hands before Asgore turned his back on you, though you were _so_ going to tease him mercilessly for the blush that was working its way up the back of his neck. What a doof, if a stupid line like that could make him blush then you couldn’t help but to wonder exactly what else you could say to get a rise out of him… but wait no. Bad Bagsy. Do not flirt with the king of monsters just because he’s adorable and too pure for your crass self. Do not. Just don’t.

 

With your new resolution in mind you shuffled away, trusting the boys to follow on behind, and gracefully (not at all gracefully) flopped down on your sofa, narrowly avoiding spilling tea everywhere much to both Wisp and Asgore’s chagrin. Pssh, like you hadn’t done that a thousand times before.

 

“Hey Asgore?”

 

“Yes…?”

 

“Monsters came from Earth right? Like you guys evolved right alongside humans, yeah?”

 

“Yes that is correct.”

 

“Oh. Well, are you sure you’re not an alien? Because you’ve abducted my heart.”

 

Dammit, you were weak. That wasn’t even good, but it worked and that’s what counts. You couldn’t hold back the smug grin if you tried. Which you weren’t because this was hilarious. Asgores entire body had gone rigid and you knew, just knew that he was trying not to laugh. And so, the game was on.

 

“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?” He make a small, strangled noise that sounded suspiciously like a bleat, but couldn’t hold eye contact.

 

“Have you always been this cute or did you have to work at it?” Magical. He was blushing through his fur, it was almost as weird as watching one of the skeletons blush and twice as cute.

 

“That’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?” You timed that one perfectly, just as he took a tentative sip from his tea, thinking he was finally safe. You should have asked Wisp to film it. He’d have said no and probably tried to stop you doing it at all (the spoilsport) but it would have been worth it because that was the spit take of the century right there.

 

“I might not go down in history but I’ll go down-“

 

Wisp was the one to save the dying goat from actually keeling over, stopping you before you could finish that sentence. Could you faint from blushing too hard? Damn you wanted to find out. You were as curious as a cat and twice as shameless.

 

“Bagsy, please don’t kill the king of monsters with your awful pickup lines.” You pouted playfully at him even as he drew his hand harshly down his face because he was just _done_ with you.

 

Asgore took a moment to collect himself before letting out a long suffering sigh, muttering something that sounded like ‘so that’s how Toriel felt’ which threw you for a bit but there was probably a story in there somewhere because he was talking about the monster queen, aka his ex-wife who he had to work with almost daily and honestly he looked a little lost but happy at the same time just talking about her and oh dear you were staring at him oops haha.

 

“You okay?” Wisp whisper-nudged you, face the picture of concern. What was breathing again? Yes, that was breathing. Nice. Smooth. You pulled yourself together enough to give him a steady answer relatively quickly at least.

 

“I’m kinda a mess.”

 

He snorted. You snorted. Asgore looked quietly bemused and took another sip from his mug.

 

“So I’ve been asking this a lot lately, but why are you in my house?”

 

“Ask Asgore, it was his idea.” He was making a show of looking at his phone despite the fact that you would have heard if he had gotten any sort of notification because that man had probably never even heard of silent mode, yet alone about using it. “Oh look, Jazz wants me. Guess it’s time for me to go. Goodbye.”

 

And just like that, he was gone. Well, actually it was five minutes later after he said an actual goodbye and got his coat on and not so subtly had a quiet word with Asgore the moment you were out of earshot, _then_ he finally left. Honestly, you had no idea why he’d even come to begin with if he was just going to insult your beautiful face then leave.

 

Actually, he probably came _just_ to insult your beautiful face then leave.

 

Either way, that left you alone with Asgore. It should probably be weird, what with being alone and cooped up together just moments after you pulled some cheesy pickup lines from the depths of your mind, and for the first ten minutes it was. Right up until you got over yourself and put your very best ‘I’m an okay host I swear it’ face on. Then it was still weird but you did a good enough job of ignoring it.

 

“So how’s your garden going? That’s a pretty impressive flower patch you’ve got going on.” It’s true, his flowers almost made you green with envy the last time you’d seen them, even if you couldn’t even begin to name half of the plants he was growing. That and the garden was the only thing you could think to talk about right now because your mind was still stuck wondering exactly why he was even here.

 

“Oh, they’re nothing really, plants from the underground can withstand almost anything. They had to be hardy to survive, just as easy to grow above ground as below.”

 

“I really like those yellow ones, we have something similar up here but your variety are like, huge. Ten times the size easy.”

 

“Yes, they’re rather pretty, aren’t they? But you have to be careful with them, they’re extremely poisonous.”

 

The words ‘I don’t tend to eat flowers’ were on the tip of your tongue but Asgore had that weird morose look on his face, the same one he had when he spoke about his old kid, so you held yourself back. From that one thing at least, you still had one burning, unanswered question left that had been tugging at you for a good long while already.

 

“Okay, cool. You never answered when I asked why you were here and Wisp just ran off… and I don’t wanna sound pushy or anything but uh, yeah?”

 

He snickered at you and, adult you were, you stuck your tongue out at him. He took it in good humour and to your surprise, returned the gesture. Something about seeing a towering boss monster poking his lil’ pink tongue out just sets you off cackling, though you quickly stopped when you realised that he _still_ hadn’t answered your question. Seriously, what was so difficult about answering one little question?

 

“I understand that the garden area is a very personal place for you, however I was wondering… may I bring some…mutual acquaintances round to view it? There won’t be anyone you have not already met I can assure you.”

 

That caught you off guard. Couldn’t he have just sent you a text or called you about this, he had your number and you had his (hehe, ‘royal ass’). You stared dumbly at him while you processed the words that he just said.

 

“Well, uh, sure, why not?”

 

“Really? You’re fine with this? Your associate led me to believe that you would be more… protective.” He winced and you could just tell he was expecting you to snap at him or something, though why he thought that you had no idea. That was a lie, so far the man had only ever seen you being angry, first at the very garden in question and then with Undyne. Yeah, maybe you hadn’t exactly left the best impression on him. Oops.

 

“You own it just as much as I do,” You register that not so long ago you probably would have felt like wringing his neck for even suggesting letting others into your private sanctuary, but you pushed those thoughts aside in favour of inviting yourself where you likely weren’t wanted. “One condition though, I’ve gotta be there. Keep an eye on you and stuff. That really all you came here for?”

 

“Just one more thing, it’s a sensitive matter of course and it must be handled with the utmost discretion.” You don’t miss the way he looks at you then. His eyes sweep over you slowly, up then down and back again, if you didn’t know better you might think he was checking you out, but that wasn’t quite the impression he gave you. It was more like he was assessing you. Seeing how you were about to react. Or something.

 

“Shoot.”

 

“What did you do to the man who attacked you yesterday?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons this chapter took so long: Cats, illness, college is being a butt still, cats, yet another illness and did i mention cats? I got a couple of cats. I love my new fluffsons but they're annoying. They ganged up on me earlier and i spent ten minutes trying to get up the stairs. then one of them sat on my laptop and would. not. move.
> 
> Skelenotes:  
> answer the question  
> pls  
> bye wisp  
> question  
> no?  
> v obvious set up for the next chapter wooooo  
> As it turns out, Asgore is no damn fool.


	11. no fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* I forgot to post this my homies, i wrote it two weeks ago

As it turned out, Asgore was no damn fool.

 

He’d known there was odd about Bagsy the first time he met her, that there was more to her than she’d let on. Not that he’d expected a total stranger to wear their heart on their sleeve around him, especially not after the disaster that they called their first conversation outside of a few brief texts, but still, there was something there that niggled away at him.

 

When both Frisk and Papyrus came back ranting and raving about how she’d bravely warded off an attacker, he’d been suspicious and more than a little curious.

 

Then, not long after, when they’d found the wreck of a man wandering the streets a scant few hours later, it hadn’t taken him long to connect the dots. Somehow, call it a gut feeling, he just knew that she’d be involved somehow, but no matter how they pressed the man, he refused to so much as talk about it. More like he couldn’t. Every time he opened his mouth to speak his eyes would bulge in a near impossible way and he would clam up and shut down completely. He’d been told that it was disconcerting to watch, and that was coming from one of his most experienced guards. Asgore hadn’t been directly involved, having had other more official obligations, but he at least the time to listen to the reports and oversee the handling of the situation. Neither he, nor any of the others involved with the man had much sympathy for him. For the others, it had been because they knew he’d been somehow involved in a prejudiced attack, but for him it was because he knew that the man had tried to hurt Frisk. As hypocritical as it was, the very thought of anyone trying to hurt Frisk made him deeply uncomfortable.

 

Of course, had he been in her place that day he might have acted differently, with him being a monster, especially one that was under as much scrutiny as he was, he likely would have been forced to flee with Frisk or try and peacefully diffuse the situation. Though if half of what the young ambassador had said was true, that seemed unlikely. If Frisk couldn’t find a peaceful solution, chances were, there wasn’t one there to be found.

 

As it was, Asgore knew he was in no place to judge. He’d done a little research on witches, purely out of curiosity, and he hadn’t much liked what he’d uncovered. When he’d first spoken to Bagsy he’d assumed that she was overplaying how witches were treated in human society, but after finding more than a few things online that he _really_ wished he could unsee, he’d come to realise that what she’d told him had only been the tip of the iceburg. And that was just what the general populace thought. Humans held so much hatred towards magic that it was sickening. There were entire forums online dedicated to expressing that misplaced emotion. It hadn’t taken Asgore long to silently vow to specifically include witches in any future campaigns, even mentally rewording some of the established policies to erase any loopholes that might leave the witches vulnerable. He’d have to talk it through with Toriel and Frisk before he took any action of course, but he doubted that they’d say no.

 

He’d decided not to play any games, to just come out and ask what had truly happened. As much as he could guess at, he didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. It was pure curiosity that drove him to find out, or at least that’s what he spent the whole evening and the next morning telling himself. It became a mantra. The very next day he called Wisp, the one person he knew that she was genuinely close to, and gently probed him for information without giving too much of what had happened. He sounded truthful when he came up blank, but together they decided to pay Bagsy a visit. Of course, he’d been purposely vague about why exactly he wanted to go, hiding behind a poor excuse. He was mostly just surprised that his ‘I want to show my friends around the land I own and want to run it past her’ had worked at all. In fact, the human man had given him a hearty ‘good luck’ and some tips on how not to get gutted by Bagsy, which really _did not help much at all because now he was doubly anxious about talking to her_.

 

He wasn’t a coward, not by a long shot, but even he was terrified when he finally managed to blurt out the question he’d been holding back since he first walked through the door. Wisp had long since left, not before giving him a last minute pep talk and reminding him that ‘he probably could outrun her so if all else failed, run’. He’d regretted his words instantly, knowing just by the look on her face that he’d said too much. _Really,_ He berated himself, _an age spent as king and goodness knows how many speeches and lessons from Toriel, and you still can’t say things right when it counts you old fool?_

 

She stared blankly at first, until the implications of what he’d said truly sunk in. That he knew more than he wanted her to, that he’d figured her out (at least in part). He hadn’t expected the raw, almost primal fear that glanced across her features, if only for a moment, before she returned to giving him a blank stare. It was a different kind of emptiness in her gaze, her eyes held a wealth of emotion where every other aspect of her being seemed to draw in on itself, an air of careful, tentative neutrality.

 

Before, when nothing but curiosity had been driving him forwards, he hadn’t stopped to consider how his questioning would affect the girl. He’d been so focused in piecing together all the clues and solving the puzzle, that he’d forgotten that some puzzles were better left unsolved. Bagsy looked more and more terrified the longer he stayed silent, like he held a headsman’s axe above her head poised and ready to strike. Which, given his newfound knowledge, may very well have been the case. Belatedly, he realised that he could ruin her should he be so inclined, a thought that he hadn’t even considered until that moment, it just wasn’t in his nature. But how was she to know that? Now that he had the complete picture in front of him, in the form of a broken girl with a silent scream locked up tight behind her eyes, he realised that he’d made a horrible mistake.

 

She opened her mouth as if to speak.

 

He winced, expecting the worst.

 

She said nothing.

 

He was truly the biggest fool of them all. Hindsight was both a blessing and a curse. Of course he could see why she looked so terrified, this was something that not even her partner knew, why on earth would she hide it if there wasn’t at least one good reason?

 

One of these days, he swore to himself, he’d hold a proper conversation with the girl. A conversation that didn’t involve politics or some sort of unwanted interruption. At least, he would if they both managed to survive this encounter.

 

A good minute had passed without either of them saying a word. He knew he should say something, the diplomatic part of his mind was telling him to backpeddle, to try and make things okay again, but he found himself without the right words. What was it he was supposed to say? It was obvious he’d unwittingly hit upon a raw nerve of emotion and it was far too late to pretend he didn’t know what he was saying.

 

The doorbell rang, breaking the tension like a sledgehammer would an egg, as did the next three frantic rings and the persistent knocking and shouting that immediately followed it.

 

“Bagsy dear, please open up.” Bagsy froze, unsure of what to do. He didn’t know that voice, but she appeared to, so it was likely a human acquaintance of hers. His infernal curiosity was piqued once again, along with a rush of gratitude to whoever was on the other side of the door for getting them out of that silent standoff.

 

“Any time now!”

 

“BAGSY I SWEAR TO GOODNESS IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW I’LL NEVER SNEAK YOU SNACKS WHEN WISP ISNT LOOKING EVER AGAIN!” Somehow, the knocking grew even more frantic. Bagsy just looked between Asgore and the door, obviously torn. Clearly, the threat of losing her snack privileges was a dire one. She only hesitated a moment before she reached out towards him, her hand whipping out and grabbing him by his shirt collar and dragging him down to her level with a surprising level of strength.

 

She glared at him, before hissing in a low, venomous voice;

 

“Tell anyone what you know, and I will make your life a living hell. The underground ain’t got nothing on me.” With that she turned on her heel and bolted for the door, leaving him reeling once more.

 

He hung back, staying just close enough to make his presence known but not close enough to be seen as intimidating (or at least, he hoped that was the case). He had no doubt that if push came to shove, she could likely make good on her threat, she didn’t seem the type to make promises she couldn’t keep, even those that came from a place of fear.

 

He didn’t have long to think on it though, as the door was slung open and a figure dressed all in black all but fell onto his host. The newcomer’s eyes were wide and panicked, not all unlike what Bagsy’s had been until only a few moments prior. They held Bagsy’s shoulders in a vice grip, knuckles turning white from the strain. Bagsy, for her part, barely even flinched. Instead, she just listened as the other human launched into a tirade of jumbled words.

 

“Bagsy, we need you down by the slope, something big is going down and there’s not enough of us to handle it or keep it contained if all hell breaks loose. It’s broad daylight and that isn’t stopping them at all please for the love of everything get suited up and get down there I know you can kick serious butt when you want to. Like, nothing actually happened since we got there but it might be a setup and oh god what if it’s a setup but we can’t just leave either because they’re not moving and its actually really weird and I know that Wisp said you shouldn’t get involved unless he says so but it’s just me, him and Zee and we can’t hold them back there must be at least fifteen of them and you’re the only one close enough to help and why aren’t you moving already WE HAVE TO GO!”

 

“Jazz, chill. If Wisp’s there then there’s no issue, he can handle fifty guys no problem on a bad day. Important shit only, go.” It was interesting for him to say the least, seeing her switch so quickly into a mask of calm, taking charge of the situation and effectively soothing what he assumed was another witch in a stressful situation. Then again, there were a lot of things that he considered interesting about Bagsy and he’d barely scratched the surface.

 

“Yes, yes of course. Approximately ten to twenty assailants, no known affiliation and almost all appear unarmed, though they’re all pretty young. Doesn’t seem like an organised attack but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. Three lesser monsters were caught up in the initial scuffle but all three escaped mostly unharmed when Wisp intervened. Zee and I were called in for backup but it still looks bad, there’s just too many of them if anything goes wrong.” He heard the underlying note of worry, and he most certainly heard the part about the monsters and Wisp intervening. He’d have to thank the man later, but as for what Bagsy said about him being able to take fifty men singlehandedly, he had his doubts about that. 

 

With a nod of acknowledgment, Bagsy turned to Asgore, already headed towards the stairs. “Look, I know you could get in serious trouble if you get caught, but are you with us? Sounds like we could really use a monster out there, even just for show. You don’t have to get involved if you don’t want but I have to go change real quick, think about it, okay bye.” 

 

Just like that, she was gone and Asgore was faced with a difficult choice.

 

Should he help, possibly risking getting caught by human authorities, or worse, human media? Or should he say no, that it was too big a risk to take? Surely there had to be some compromise, a middle ground of sorts, perhaps he could call out the royal guard? No, Undyne was busy tonight and the rest of the guard was otherwise accounted for… perhaps Sans? No, he was spending the day with Frisk and Toriel. He couldn’t let anything get in the way of that after what happened yesterday. It was all on him.

 

“So uh, you’re Asgore? Like, King Asgore?” the human edged closer, trying to fill the silent void left by Bagsys departure.

 

“Yes, that’s me. Madam, am I safe to assume that you’re another witch? I seem to be running into witches everywhere these days.” He chuckled, and if the sound echoed awkwardly through the hallway, neither of them mentioned it.

 

“Err, yeah I’m a witch. But I’m not a madam, I’m not a sir either, actually.” They shifted awkwardly on the spot.

 

“Ah, of course. My mistake and apologies. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Bagsy? You seemed quite familiar.”

 

It was their turn to chuckle, a quiet amused sort of sound.

 

“We went to the academy together. I was the mom friend, the sensible one that is, honestly you should have seen the trouble Bagsy and the other two used to get themselves into. Oh, and I’m Jazz by the way, not sure if you picked up on that earlier.”

 

_Other two? There’s more of them?_

 

 

_Note:_

_Alrighty, i guess i should explain my asgore? I see a lot of people writing him differently and i'm really trying to not let that influence how he is in this story. Asgore's a good guy who's been made to make tough choices, he didn't always make the best decisions but no one can say he didn't try. I noticed that puzzles, namely, bad puzzles, are a thing in the Underground, so why not make Asgore really bad at puzzles? He's curious and smart, but doesn't always think things through and sometimes that means he misses the bigger picture, which is why he and Toriel worked so well together, she could pick up on what he missed and he could pick up on what she missed. I like to think that even though things are still a bit strained between the two of them (and likely always will be), they at least get along in the friend/awkward ex sorta way. He was also never really one for giving speeches, most of his formal ones were scripted or partially scripted. When it comes to the kids who were killed in the underground, the six souls, one was killed by circumstance, then a royal guard member killed one and just... couldn't handle it. After that, he asked that all humans be taken to him, so he didn't have to put the heavy weight of murder on anyone elses shoulders but his own. He believed it was for the right cause, which is questionable at best and he knows it._

_And as for his relationship with his children, he loved them both, so much. Chara was always closer to Toriel, but Asriel was closer to him. It wasn't by much, just enough for one to take after the other a little more (think how Flowey and Asgore both greet Frisk, with 'howdy' and (in a genocide route) and Toriel both say 'greetings')_

_I think i mentioned it a few chapters back, but when the buttercups instead of butter incident happened, he thought that Chara might have known what they did, just as he'd known that they'd hated themselves for it afterwards. Chara was always pretty hard to handle at times, they seemed to think that they deserved punishment for everything, expected it even, and when they never did get punished the way they expected, they'd try and force their parents hands. Both parents accepted that and dealt with it the best they knew how, never loving Chara any less for their actions. (sorry, I just really love the Dreemurr family dynamic okay)_

_When Chara  later got 'sick' Asgore knew that the symptoms were eerily familiar. He didn't want to think badly of his child, and appreciated that they'd been through a lot (which i'll be talking about later on in the story!) before they came to the underground and could never truly hold what happened against them, not really. He and Toriel were the only ones who could have known that what happened when the two royal children died was anything but a tragic accident (it still kinda was, the plan failed. horribly) and Toriel was too grief stricken to really think of it (she might have done later, then hated herself for thinking that of her children). He never really did get over their loss, but he tried his best not to let his own grief affect how he ruled the kingdom. How well he managed that is up for debate, but at least the Underground, Home, was still largely functional and the monsters were as happy as they could be._

_how Asgore interacts with others is largely dependent on how much authority he has over them, and more recently, how they treat monsters he always tries to be polite and civil no matter what, but around people he's more comfortable with, he can relax more. Especially now that the monsters are free and he can actively pursue his interests rather than constantly being in King Mode._

_Like Sans, he has a good idea of when something messes with the timeline. He also has a vague recollection of the fight with Flowey, though no solid memories, just an uneasy feeling whenever he thinks back to the breaking of the barrier. He knows that the six human souls were somehow involved, proven by the fact that they'd all disappeared so quickly, but other than that he doesn't know  all that much. The official story is that Frisk had enough determination to break the barrier down themselves, but he, like a few others who'd been present and were aware of the gap in their memories, knows that the whole story is likely a lot more complex._

_Asgore's actually a pretty complicated guy! Trying to figure out how he'd react or what he'd say in certain situations is difficult sometimes, but i love him. I love all of the characters in Undertale tbh. Except Jerry, screw that guy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My skelenotes do not match what has been written. Not for the next three/ four chapters. It's official, this story has a mind of it's own. Bagsy has stolen the reigns and is going wild, i'm just being pulled along for the ride.
> 
> Also, this stories going to have more chapters from other people pov just because i can. bleh.


	12. Chapter 12

“I’ll go.” He announced, just as you re-emerged barely three minutes later. Dressed all in black, similar to Jazz, your clothes hung loose, obscuring your figure and a mask that was a touch too scratchy to be comfortable covered the lower half of your face. The baggy clothing contrasted against your usual form fitting style, but that that was half the point of a disguise. You didn’t let yourself react to his declaration, instead pushing a necklace into his hand.

 

“A glamour charm. A friend gave it to me a while back, it’ll stop you from being recognised.” You supplied at his confused face. What he didn’t know was that she’d spent half the time she was upstairs digging the object out from the back of the hidden compartment of her jewellery case where she kept a few enchanted objects and that such objects were actually extremely hard to find, since most witches who had the ability to enchant objects were automatically trained separately to most other witches and recruited by private employers, or that glamour charms of that quality were expressedly forbidden by at least seven witch-specific laws for the exact reason that they were about to use it for (and because only magic wielders could use them). You had no intention of telling him though, plausible deniability and all that.

 

“How do I use it?” He followed half a step behind the two of you as you left the house behind with barely a second glance, easily keeping up with them as they half ran towards their destination. It was still light out, but the streets were barren of people. This area of town was never particularly busy at the best of times, being more a residential area where most of the houses were used as Summer houses for the richer humans who owned them, leaving them mostly empty around Winter.

 

“Oh, umm, you just put it on and wear it.” Bagsy explained “The charm feeds off of your latent magic reserves, a weak monster would be able to wear that one for approximately a week before there were any serious side effects so you being a boss monster and all should be fine for now, just mind you don’t use too much magic while fighting or you might end up with a nasty headache later. Well, more like an everything ache but you’re head and chest’ll suffer the most. Oh look, you hear that? Sounds like assholes getting their asses handed to them! We’re here!”

 

You stopped your group just out of sight, taking in the situation. There had been one time, _one time_ , where you’d just joined in and nearly gotten yourself hurt and Wisp had never let you forget it since.

 

Jazz had made it sound like there was a veritable army waiting for you, and honestly, there were actually just a bunch of angry looking teenagers wearing scowls so deep that you couldn’t help but wonder if any of them had ever smiled in their life. at the nearest to you, a girl no older than 17 with nails like a birds’ talons and who was snarling like a wolf, seemed to be the ringleader. Wisp was only a few steps away from her, talking in an obvious attempt at diplomacy. Well, you couldn’t imagine Wisp wanting to beat up a bunch of misguided delinquent kids right off the bat.

 

Zee, for his part, was just standing there looking intimidating. He was one of the witches that you hardly spoke to anymore, but you kept tabs on him by his association with Jazz (it was pretty… Jazzee… Jazzy… dammit you wanted them to date already). He was a veritable giant of a man, which made it all the more amusing that his magic was focused on misdirection. Anyone packing guns like those, you’d think twice before messing with, even if his heart was as soft as a silken furred plush toy.

 

Given the general lack of anyone being torn apart, you made the executive decision to walk straight between the two sides, clapping your hands together loudly as you turned to face the girl. 

 

“So! What seems to be the problem here?” that caught her by surprise, as did the sight of Asgore standing awkwardly where you left him. You almost snorted at the way he was watching you, like he half expected you to rip out their souls right there and then just to impress him. Tempting, but not in front of Wisp, his delicate eyes might not survive the experience. She looked between you, Wisp then Asgore before muttering so quietly you barely heard it;

 

“Fuck this shit, I’m outta here.” And leaving on her gloomy way, the rest of the teens following after with their tails between their legs. how can someone put a scowl in their voice? And was everyone in this town a walking stereotype? Well, if that was true that would make you a stereotype too… nah. Still, you did have to hold yourself back from chasing after her and asking her to impart all her knowledge on being a living beacon of grouch and angst.

 

“Jazz, why is Bagsy here.” It wasn’t even a question. It was a statement.

 

“Wisp, dear. You know I love you but please, that girl was not taking no for an answer! And what with Bagsy’s reputation with people around here I figured that maybe she’d be able to help, and she did! Bagsy barely did a thing and they went running for the hills.”

 

“Wait, Bagsy has a reputation?” you asked, wondering who this Bagsy person with the reputation was and where she was hiding.

 

“Yes,” they spoke slowly, amusement tinging their voice “people have seen you hanging around with monsters and they certainly know that you’re not someone to mess with, that’s a reputation if ever I’ve seen one.”

 

“Yeah, and after everything that went down between you and Sam…” Zee trailed off when a stern glance was sent his way from Wisp.

 

“Sam… Sam, Sammy Sam Sam… Oh! You mean Sam, Sam from the club!” The same Sam that you hadn’t even thought about since chapter 2- wait you meant that one time you got drunk and almost ruined your newfound, fledgling friendship with the skeleton brothers. Yeah, that had been a pretty big thing at the time, that Sam guy was a real piece of work. At least he knew how to deal with hangovers effectively. “Still don’t get the whole ‘Bagsy gets in an argument and walks away with a reputation’ bit though, would one of you two maybe mind explaining it to me? Please, my poor little brain’s flailing like a magicarp without splash.” Wisp snorted.

 

“You know what happened better than anyone else Bagsy, no point going over it all again. Point is, I brought you because you could help, which you did, and that Wisp has no right to treat you like you’re made of glass! He should know better than that.”

 

Wisp spluttered while Zee hid a smile behind one of his giant hands. Seriously, his hand was practically the size of a dinner plate, it was a very effective smile concealer. Asgore chose that moment to speak up.

 

“should I go? I’m afraid I have no more reason to stay…”

 

A slow, predatory grin sneaks its way across your face, you could think of a few reasons for him to stay.

 

“That’s our cue to leave then! Well, thank you Jazz for that very interesting, if a little anticlimactic outing, Wisp, you had better let me go punch stuff some other time and Zee, see you whenever your appearance is convenient to the plot.”

 

“Convenient to the…? Bagsy, what are you-?”

 

But alas, you were already gone.

 

You had a score to settle.

 

You kept pace with Asgore, winding your way not back to your home, but to your garden. You wanted to show him something. He looked miffed when you marched straight over to a mess of vines growing against a mostly vertical wire fence, beckoning Asgore up close. You picked up one, a potted plant separated from the rest that wound it's way up a stick. You only kept it with the other vines so it didn't feel lonely, you actually kept near identical plants tucked away all over the place.

 

“You see this plant right here? This is my buddy Vinny. Me and Vinny make quite the team, we can kick your ass.” You stood with your back to the plant, simply for dramatics.

 

Then, you started to sing, channelling your magic. His eyes widened as in your arms, Vinny came to life. Or, at least he appeared to. It was actually just you controlling it. Still, it was an impressive party trick, especially if Asgores’ reaction was anything to go by. For a split second his eyes widened in pure terror, then he almost looked… confused? Like he didn’t even know why he’d been afraid to begin with, or maybe he sort of knew but just forgot? You probably just surprised him, you don’t see weaponised plants every day.

 

You moved forwards, just close enough for you to guide a vine to gently brush against his ankle, just to mess with him.

 

Honestly, Now that you'd had time to calm down, you'd realised that the guy was too much of a sap to dob you in, of all the people who could have found you out, Asgore was far from the worst. This was just you getting revenge for scaring the hell out of you earlier. 

 

What you didn’t expect was for him to lob a fireball at poor lil’ Vinny the vine. You yelped, taking the hit through the reach of your magic. Maybe you’d let loose a string of swears, maybe you hadn’t, all you knew was, that had _hurt._

 

“Bloody hell! I was just messing with ya man, I do my own ass kicking. _Ouch.”_

 

With one, very soft but very strong arm, Asgore hauled you to your feet. You hadn’t even noticed that you’d doubled over and fallen to your knees. Served you right for being such an idiot in the first place.

 

“Oh goodness, are you alright? Did I hit you? I am so sorry, for a moment I thought-“ you waved him off.

 

“I’m good, I’m good. Don’t worry. I’m totally good. Do you think Muffets would still be open? I think I gotta eat some delicious spidery goodness or I might just keel over. Mmm yeah, I can practically hear the crunch of those crisp little blighters.” Of course Muffets bakery would still be open, it was barely even 5pm! Muffets didn’t shut until…. 5pm! Plenty of time left.

 

“Are you sure you’re quite alright?” Damn, he doubted you. How dare he. You were perfectly okay. So okay. More okay than a teenage girl passive aggressively trying to get the latest in a long string of fuckbois to leave her alone by trolling him. Which, speaking from experience, was pretty darn okay!

 

“Yeah I’m fiiine! Just… maybe a little woozy? Damn, you hit hard. Poor Vinny will never be the same again.” You pout, looking at what remained of Vinny. Which… was more than you’d expected actually, even if a lot of it looked rather sorry for itself. Vinny would live to see another day, huzzah! You’d half expected to turn around to see a smouldering mess.

 

Where your sudden craving for monster food came from, you thought you may never know. Truly, it was a mystery for the ages. Historians would look back at this moment for centuries to come and wonder “Wow, why _did_ Bagsy get a sudden craving for monster themed baked goods?”. 

 

“Muffets? Ah yes, monster food may help you regain any HP you lost.”

 

Oh, mystery solved then. Thanks Asgore, you super sleuth you.

 

You felt yourself swaying slightly, before the whole world lurched beneath you. Was it just you or was the ground getting further away? Wowie! You’d achieved lift off, you were flying up high, the world so far below you that you could barely even make out landmarks, maybe you’d finally get to see Paris. You didn’t know why you’d want to see Paris, but maybe you could, you were flying after all! People would surely appear as small ants far down below and, and-

 

And Asgore was carrying you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who needs the fourth wall anyway? Whether Bagsy actually knows she's in a story or if it's some weird kind of running joke i have no idea, so believe what you want. also Vinny the vine is a pal. Bagsy just had an unfortunate choice in revenge material.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are random nonsensical letter/number splurges please let me know, my cats kept using my keyboard as a walkway/cushion. I tried to stop them. Lesson of the day: Cats cannot be stopped.

“Sorry deary, we’re closed~” Muffets voice trilled from somewhere deep inside the building. The door was shut, the only lights still on were the ones in the kitchen, the soft yellow light filtering through the window, illuminating part of the inside of the bakery.

 

“Muffet, please open up.” Asgore spoke loud enough to be heard and, hopefully, recognised. Bagsy was acting… odd ever since he’d mistakenly attacked the plant. He’d had no idea that he’d end up hurting her, he hadn’t even known he’d done it himself for a moment after, not until he’d heard her make a pained noise and watched her fall to her knees. She’d tried to right herself but seemed incapable of staying upright.

 

Panic wasn’t the word to describe what he’d felt.

 

“Yeah, c’mon Muffet, babe, my sweet, light of my liiiifeee! You, you gotta open up, I’m hungryyyy!”

 

The bell tinkled and the door was thrown open by an almost flustered Muffet (he knew better than to ever outright accuse her of being flustered). She squinted her many eyes at Asgore, trying to place him. He’d almost forgotten he was still wearing Bagsy’s glamour charm, though that would explain why nobody had looked twice at the peculiar sight of him carrying her the whole way to the bakery. He hadn’t exactly thought through the consequences himself, so Bagsys foresight may have just stopped his day from getting any worse.

 

“Your Majesty, is that you? And… oh, Bagsy too? Well, an exception can be made just this once, come in, come in. What can I do for you?”

 

He did exactly as prompted, walking straight in with as much authority as he could with a considerably smaller being hanging off him, leaning over and attempting to lower Bagsy onto a chair and propping her up between the wall and the chair to stop her from slipping, if her earlier performance was anything to go by, her balance had been compromised. Bagsy seemed to have had other ideas of where she wanted to be, clinging to him tightly and refusing to let go. After a brief, fruitless struggle and a few painful tugs on his fur, he decided that it was a lost cause, straightening up again with her still very much attached.

 

“I’m afraid that she’s lost a substantial chunk of her HP, anything that’ll quickly restore it would be most helpful, of course I’ll pay extra since you so kindly opened your doors after hours.” He gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile, but even so, the ever watchful spider monster frowned. She wasn’t stupid and clearly had some connection to Bagsy herself, his story was vague and suspicious at best. Maybe less so if Muffet was aware of her activities with the witches, though from the sounds of it her connections were at least something of a secret.

 

“What happened? I can’t have my best customer out getting injured now. Let me take a better look at her.”

 

He didn’t so much as let Muffet look at Bagsy as he did stay very, very still while Muffet busied herself with calling out Bagsy’s soul for inspection. He couldn’t help but to admire the colour, a clear, vibrant yellow. It wasn’t entirely unlike the yellow of the flowers he grew in the garden, both underground and overground. A yellow soul represented justice, someone with one this bright and clear must have a very strong sense for it. A soul well suited to the leader of the witches, or so he thought.

 

Perhaps with time, she and Undyne would learn to get along and work together. Two people with such strong souls would make a formidable team. He refused to spend too long staring though, more worried at how low her HP was, at little under a quarter of its base value. The amount of damage taken was more than what one of his attacks should have inflicted, which was strange. It wasn’t just physical attacks that could lower someone HP though, perhaps she’d lost some when he’d confronted her earlier? She’d certainly appeared enough for it to be a possibility. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind until then. If that was truly the case, then he would truly have to work hard to make it up to her. Starting with getting her HP back up to where it should be. Though she had been involved in a confrontation the day before, her aggressor hadn’t used any form of magic so there was no reason for that to have affected her HP.

 

“Ahuhu, I have just the thing! Sit tight dearies~” Muffet disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to find what she was looking for. He could hear her humming a little tune to herself and the muffled sounds of her rummaging through a draw or a cupboard, seemingly unconcerned now she knew that the girls’ life was in no real danger.

 

Asgore couldn’t do anything but stay where he was, Bagsy was still refusing to be put anywhere that wasn’t in his arms, reminding him in the oddest way of Frisk on the day they’d finally left the Underground. The child had clung to whichever of their friends was closest to them and simply would not move unless it was to latch onto another. The only differences being, this human was considerably older and he was a touch more worried over her behaviour than he had been about Frisks. If he had to take a guess, he’d say that she almost seemed inebriated.

 

Muffet returned a short few moments later holding a tray, which had three fruit tartlets delicately arranged on it.

 

“These should get her back to normal, _your highness_.” She said with an impish smile, causing Asgore to roll his eyes. Muffet was one of the few monsters who’d never really cared much for formality or rank, unless she saw a profit. Like all monsters, there was a lot more to Muffet than some people chose to see. He still remembered her fundraising attempts to rescue her family from the Ruins, though why she needed a heated limo to get the job done when there were sure to be more than a few willing fire type monsters who’d have helped he still wasn’t quite sure. “Now Bagsy deary, do I have to handfeed you or can you manage these yourself?”

 

He certainly hoped that she was joking. It was difficult to tell.

 

Bagsy cracked one eye open, glancing between the tray and Muffet before making a show of looking especially feeble, even going as far as to fake swoon in his arms.

 

“Oh my darling, your sweet kindness is all I need to heal my ills and troubles.” Then, just as Muffet was about to reach for the first tartlet, a small, devious grin on both of their faces, her hand whipped out and grabbed it from her, eating most of it in one single bite. At least she had the good grace to swallow her mouthful before talking again. “But I can feed myself, thanks.”

 

“Asgore…” She muttered, finishing off the last of the third tartlet.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Why are you carrying me?”

 

“You wouldn’t let him put you down deary, in fact, you put up quite the fight when he tried to sit you down on that chair.”

 

He’d expected her to get up or ask to be put down. It’s what most people likely would have done. Instead, she just wiggled, made a little humming noise and declared;

 

“Well, he is comfortable. And warm, no wonder I didn’t wanna move. Still don’t.”

 

He sighed, not even bothering to try and set her down again. She’d evidently decided that he was where she wanted to be and it’s not like he had anything better to be doing and she wasn’t so heavy that he needed to put her down quite yet.

 

“Bagsy, are you quite sure that you only met Frisk yesterday? The two of you could almost be related the way you both act.”

 

“Nah, Frisks like, seven or something.”

 

“They’re twelve actually.”

 

“Five?”

 

“Twelve.”

 

“Nine?”

 

“Twelve.” Why was she being so obstinate? And why had she suddenly tensed up, she already knew how old Frisk was. The human media had made a big deal about it, as if their age affected how well they could do their job. As if the child hadn’t just singlehandedly liberated an entire species and changed the fate of the world.

 

“Huh. Maybe… Nah, we’re probably not related. That would be _hilarious_ though, wouldn’t it?”

 

“No.” He said, thinking that actually it would be disastrous.

 

“Yes.” Said Muffet, thinking the same as Asgore.

 

Bagsy vibrated, or at least her phone did, making her jump so hard that he nearly dropped her. Unfortunately for her, in order to reach the phone that was firmly lodged in her back pocket he’d have to put her down. For a short moment he thought that she was about to ignore her phone, but then it vibrated again and she just rolled out of his grip, somehow twisting as she fell so she landed on her feet, her hand already most of the way towards where her phone had been trapped until just then. For some odd reason she winked at him before casting her attention back to the device. Humans were so strange. Or maybe it was just the ones he was best acquainted with that were strange, between Frisk and Bagsy, he hardly even knew what was odd for humans and wasn’t anymore.

 

“Sooo Muffet, how much do I owe ya?” She tucked her phone back in her pocket, but couldn’t hide the smile on her face.

 

“Nothing, just your continued patronage at my wonderful establishment.” In all the time he’d known her, Muffet had never once not jumped at the opportunity for money, much less given something away for free.

 

“Oh, so no charge then?”

 

“Absolutely not, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t help out when I was needed, hmm?” Asgore did a mental double take, _friend?_ That was surprising.

 

“Aww, you’re so sweet! Guess I gotta leave a tip then.” Bagsy was practically beaming at Muffet, turning towards the counter where the tip jar usually lived. Asgore caught a brief look of Smugness on the spider monsters face before Bagsy caught his attention yet again, “Hey, where’d you put the tip jar?”

 

“Ahuhuh~ I know you too well Bagsy dear, I insist, no need to pay. Not today at least.” Now it was Bagsy’s turn to look confused, like she honestly hadn’t expected this turn of events. Neither had he, but he decided to stay silent for the moment and let the girls sort it out themselves.

 

“Oh. Well. Okay then, wow. Thanks Muffet!” Apparently he hadn’t been the only one blindsided by Muffets kindness. Bagsy grinned and saluted her, apparently she was suddenly in a great mood. “Sorry, hate to dine and dash but I really should be going, Paps is going crazy. Had to put my phone on silent.”

 

“I’ll walk you home.” He owed her that much. He’d acted rashly and almost done something terrible. If her HP had been even a little lower or of his attack had done more damage… It didn’t bear thinking about. He shuddered, doubting that he’d be shaking off the guilt any time soon.

 

“Yo, you coming or not?” Bagsy was already at the door, waiting. He nodded and followed after her.

 

Just to keep her safe.

 

 

{TEXT LOG}

 

CinnamonRoll: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

                A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.!!!!

                IT WORKED!

                I FOLLOWED YOUR ADVICE

                HE SAID YES

                TO A DATE!

                WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

                (ALSO WE KISSED)

                BUT WE’RE GOING TO GO ON A DATE!

                ME

                WITH METTATON!

                WHY AREN’T YOU A LISCENCED DATING EXPERT? BOTH YOU AND FRISK GIVE EXCELLENT ADVICE!

 

You: Woah! Congrats dude! Talk later, yeah? I’m kinda busy embarrassing myself in front of Asgore and Muffet. Heading home soon.

 

CinnamonRoll: OF COURSE! HOPEFULLY YOUR DATING PROWESS WILL SOON MATCH UP TO MINE ;D

 

You: wait wut? Which one are you talking about?

 

CinnamonRoll: ;D

 

*you changed ‘CinnamonRoll’s’ contact address to ‘SinnamonRoll’*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asgore is confused and concerned. Poor guy, he just wanted to help fix his mess-up and ended up trapped between Muffet and Bagsy. (i'm not exactly in love with this chapter but eh.)
> 
> Also i forgot about a whole bunch of stuff i wrote but didn't post for this and AlleyCat so, nice. good going me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm collecting "do you know why they call me Bagsy" jokes. Please, feel free to go wild and suggest some. I love them.

Frisk thought that Bagsy was pretty cool, in about the same way that they thought that they were cool, which was debatable at best. In their young mind, it was good as a fact. Frisk was honestly a little afraid of her at first, remembering what she’d done (or technically, what she’d never done but could’ve if things had been different) and what she was capable of in previous timelines. Strangely enough, she’d only shown up in a select few futures. In others, she just… wasn’t there. At all. They didn’t know what caused her to appear or why she wasn’t there in others. Either way, in this timeline, Bagsy was shaping up to be a good friend.

 

When Asgore invited them to spend the day and explore the garden that he and Bagsy co-owned, they were ecstatic. It wasn’t often that they got to spend time with Asgore outside of their work as an ambassador since Mom still wasn’t entirely comfortable with it and they both respected that. Whenever they did spend time with Asgore they were usually accompanied by Undyne and/or Papyrus. Bagsy would make a nice change of pace to their usual entourage.

 

Other than Sans, Asgore was the only other monster they knew who had even a little awareness of their time magic, and unlike Sans, he’d never judged them for it. He just accepted it as a part of them, claiming that he’d seen stranger things happen and that they had a good spirit. It was good to be trusted so openly.

 

It was probably for the best that it would just be the three of them that day, what with Papyrus’s and Undyne’s combined destructive might. The garden wouldn’t survive those two. Besides, Papyrus was busy that day, on a date no less! They felt happy for him, knowing that Mettaton could give Papyrus a better date than they had. That was half the reason they’d put so much effort into setting them up together, apparently Bagsy’d had a similar idea. Great minds think alike, and cool minds do too! Frisk also wondered if Papyrus was technically an ex, since they’d also been on a date with him. They were cool exes if they were. Papyrus was the coolest guy they knew.

 

Frisk felt a funny sense of déjà vu when Asgore led them up a worn path that led to the garden plot, like they’d been there before. They vaguely wondered if they’d accidently loaded a Save, but given the lack of angry/worried/frantic calls from Sans they figured that it was just an ordinary coincidence. They had never been there before, they were sure of it. If they had, it must have been when they were really, really little.

 

Bagsy was running late, having apparently, according to Asgore, left something at home and doubled back to get it. The pair weren’t waiting long, only around five minutes or so. Bagsy smiled at them and apologised and Frisk found themselves warming up to them even more, as if the remnants of the bruising around her eye weren’t enough to remind them that the Bagsy from this timeline was different to the others. This one was a friend, someone kind and who was on their side. Not that Frisk had been expecting anything different, they’d long since stopped expecting people to be the same in every timeline, not when they all varied from one another so much.

 

The thoughts of the past and the pasts that never happened but that they couldn’t forget set them on edge. They were nervous and jumpy.

 

“Hey Frisk?” they turned to look at her, she was talking again before they had a chance to think about replying. “You know why I’m called Bagsy?”

 

Wait, she’d said that last time too. Bags of money. They knew that one! Frisk was about to say as much, but once again, Bagsy was talking before they answered.

 

“Because I’m nothing without a bag on my shoulder.”

 

Apparently what Bagsy had forgotten was her bag, which Frisk noticed was different and much larger than the one she’d had at the park the other day. Frisk didn’t comment on it but they were still a little dubious of the excuse, especially when they heard the distinct, but muffled sound of rustling every so often.

 

Entering the garden, the first things they noticed were the clear divide between the two halves and the slightly charred patch of greenery on what they assumed was Bagsy’s half. On that half there was nothing but Overground plants, brightly coloured pansies and a few herbs that they barely recognised from some of the cooking books they’d read. They had read them, not just looked at the pictures since Mom always loved it when Frisk would sit on a counter and read the recipe out to her and Dunkle Sans sometimes let them read their own bedtime stories.

 

Asgores side boasted an array of flowers from the Underground, a familiar sight that to them, just looked odd contrasted against the plants in Bagsy’s plot. They noticed that he’d grown both varieties of yellow flowers beside each other, the buttercups and the flowers that supposedly came from where the first human had lived. The same type of flower that Flowey was. Thinking of Flowey didn’t always make them sad anymore, not now that they had a plan to help save him and bring him home. Maybe Bagsy would even want to help! If she agreed to escort Frisk and ‘kitten’ to the underground and they wouldn’t need to rope Sans in. They giggled at the silly nickname Mettaton gave their friend, they’d always just called them whatever had felt right at the time. But then, they’d already mentioned it to Sans and he’d seemed amiable to the idea so that might have been a silly thought. They just knew that Sans was a little uncomfortable with going back to where he’d spent so long trapped.

 

“So, here we are!” Bagsy swept her arms up and out before twirling around as if she was showing off something like her favourite thing in the world, grinning the whole while.

 

Frisk felt the beginnings of a plan start to form when they saw the soft smile on Asgore’s face from the corner of their eye. They knew that he’d never get back together with Mom, she was happy with Sans and there had been too much that had happened between them in the past. Besides, the one time Frisk had called Asgore Dad, he’d almost cried and not in the happy way they wanted him to feel and they’d instantly decided to never do that again. To them, he felt like family, but they knew that he was afraid of getting too close to them because of their shared past. If Frisk couldn’t always be there for him, then maybe someone who made him happy could be. They wondered if he knew that Bagsy made him happy.

 

“Kid? You in there?” Frisk jumped, Bagsy was suddenly right in front of them with a matching look of concern to Asgores. When had she gotten so close?

 

“I’m fine. Are those blackberries?” Bagsy blinked once, then twice, before shaking her head a little. It took Frisk a second to remember that she’d never heard them speak, the first time they’d met they hadn’t been speaking, too nervous around her to feel entirely comfortable.

 

“Yeah! It’s a little, well, a lot late in the season but I managed to keep them going. Perks of being a herbologist I suppose.”

 

They scrunched up their face in a weird way trying to remember what that weird word meant. Herb- olly-gist. “Plant stuff?”

 

“Plant stuff.” She was grinning at them, ruffling their hair before leaning in real close, bending her knees a little to do so “I brought some stuff to go with them too, you can even take some home for Sans and your Mom.”

 

“What are you two grinning about over there?” Asgore called, voice lased with good humoured suspicion.

 

“Nothing!” They chimed in unison, sharing a conspiratorial wink. He just hummed, clearly not believing them in the slightest.

 

“Frisk, would you like us to show you around a little?” Frisk gave that a moment of thought. Really, they wanted to throw themselves towards anything edible and gorge themselves silly, but they also knew that this garden was Asgore’s, and by the looks of it, Bagsy’s pride and joy and that showing it to them would make them both very happy. Frisk loved making people happy, sometimes they felt like that was their sole purpose in life. They just loved watching as people lit up with joy, the way their eyes sparkled and how everyone reacted differently when they were having fun. It was because of that they found themselves eagerly nodding and humming their assent.

 

Sure enough, both the supposed adults quickly became much more animated and almost immediately fell into playful bickering about the plants. They debated the best way to grow and who had the better garden layout (as far as Frisk could tell, both halves were working just fine). Frisk got the feeling that they were enjoying themselves rather than actually arguing so they just listened, nodding along whenever it was expected of them.

 

They still kept sending longing glances towards the bramble patch where the blackberries grew, plump, ripe and enticing. Each of those tiny little fruits were calling to them, just asking to be picked.

 

 

 

You cut what you were saying short, instead nudging Asgore and motioning towards the kid. They were staring at the blackberry bush like they were in a trance and if you looked really, really closely, you could even see a hint of drool starting to leak down their chin. Somehow they managed to make drool look adorable.

 

“Perhaps it is time to pick the fruits?” He chuckled, and you chuckled right along with him.

 

“Really kid, all the things here and you go for the brambles.” You’d actually considered getting rid of them a couple of times, the bushes lined the far border of the plot and behind them, separating you from any of the gardens belonging to the houses nearby, stood a rickety old fence. You’d only decided not to cut them down because they’d likely take the fence down with them and hiring someone to replace the fence would mean letting other people, strangers, into your almost private sanctuary. And you really, _really_ liked blackberries. So did the kid if the drool was anything to go by.

 

You dug in your bag until you found what you were looking for, three decently sized plastic containers that could easily hold enough blackberries to make three pies each. Sans may have mentioned over text that Tori made a pie almost every day and you may have found that adorable and been planning on sharing whatever you could harvest from your garden with the pie loving woman that you’d yet to meet as soon as you’d found the plastic containers in the back of one of your kitchen cupboards while you were looking for something to take home some of Muffets cupcakes in.

 

Frisks jaw dropped when you handed them their one, treating your instructions of ‘go wild’ as a Very Serious Mission, darting off towards one of the larger clusters of fruit. It looked huge in their tiny child hands. Asgore somehow made his container look tiny in his giant monster hands and you briefly wondered if you should have found something bigger for him to use. Maybe a wheelbarrow.

 

“I can get the ones higher up, why don’t you and Frisk focus on the ones lower down?” Did he just lump you in with the kid? The short kid? The actual child?

 

“Did you just lump me in with the kid?”

 

“Well, yes. Since the two of you are rather short…”

 

“Short?” He called you short. _He called you short._ “I am not short.” _You were not short._

 

“What’s the weather like down there?” He deadpanned, looking you right in the eye and purposely tilting his head to show that he actually had to look _down_ at you to make eye contact which wasn’t fair because you were not _short_ he was just a literal _giant_.

 

“Pretty good thanks, still not short. Now Frisk, Frisk is short.”

 

“Hey!” They squealed indignantly, turning the sad puppy eyes onto full power directly aimed at Asgore. The sucker didn’t stand a chance. “She called me short!”

 

He gasped as if this was news to him and he hadn’t been standing _right there_. “Frisk, you are young, you are _supposed_ to be short. Bagsy is an adult, she’s stuck like that.” Frisk peered at you and nodded sagely, before turning back to Asgore and making a grabby hand motion.

 

“Don’t want to be short.” He lifted the child and settled them on his shoulders and they gave you a smug look before they both set to work plucking berries like it was nobody’s business. You got back to doing it yourself, lower down than them but not too low because _you were not short._ That didn’t stop them both from giggling at you every few minutes.

 

Those scheming little…

You took the opportunity to smear blackberry juice all up on that pristine white fur the moment Asgore let his guard down.

 

You’d have probably felt bad about it if he hadn’t made an adorable squealing-braying noise and if Frisk hadn’t started pelting you with some of the mushier, overripe fruits. You pelted them right back and maybe a few of them hit Asgore too but it wasn’t like he was standing there doing nothing either.

 

Things quickly turned into a full on food fight from there.

 

Purple really was Asgore’s colour, though it would probably look better on his clothes rather than his fur. Frisk had somehow dodged almost every blackberry except for one or two that had managed to get lodged in the birds nest that they called their hair (it had been properly and likely painstakingly brushed when they’d first arrived). You were similarly lucky, though you’d taken a few hits here and there. Of the three of you, Asgore had suffered the most. Served him right for calling you short.

 

Because you were not short.

 

You weren’t.

 

“Perhaps… we should just focus on picking the fruit instead of throwing it.”

 

“That’s quitter talk,” said you.

 

“You’re a sore loser,” said Frisk.

 

You loved that kid.

 

You did eventually manage to fill all three containers with berries, but not until twenty minutes before the time Frisk had been promised home. That resulted in a frantic dash and hurried goodbyes to get them home. You kindly and graciously passed on joining in the mad scramble back, claiming that you would only slowing them down. Asgore made a comment about short people having littler legs. You ‘forgot’ to mention that you could have just called a friend of yours and had them home in under ten minutes.

 

Because you weren’t short.

 

You weren’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if any of you guys are going to London MCM on Sunday- I'll be cosplaying Frisk with my lil' flowey prop and my amazing friend as Mettaton! (I'll be posting pictures on my tumblr probably!) Idk how to link so just copy and paste if u wanna come say hi :)
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dude-againjustwhy
> 
>  
> 
> Frisk: Bagsy is a temporal outlier and should not have been counted.
> 
> Alphys: T-that’s not how outliers work
> 
> Frisk: It’s a meme, Alphys
> 
> Alphys: B-but
> 
> Frisk: LET ME MEME IN PEACE, I AM A SIMPLE MEME FARMER TENDING TO MY CROPS-
> 
> Undyne: what the hell did you just say to my girl, squirt? I’ll have you know that I graduated top of my class at the Royal Guard and i've been involved in numerous secret raids on human-kind...


	15. Chapter 15

It wasn’t until you were halfway home that emotions happened. You didn’t know where they’d come from or why, just that one moment you were still happy and buzzing from your food fight and general, all-round good time with Asgore and Frisk and then the next, you were a veritable emotional wreck.

 

Sure, you hadn’t had a chance to spring your surprise picnic on them what with the foodfight and all, but you’d all still had fun! Or at least, you’d though you had. What if you were the only one who’d enjoyed the afternoon? For all you knew, they could have just been humouring you! They could have had an absolutely terrible time but seen you having fun all on your own and decided that you were selfish and that they didn’t want to be your friend anymore. Maybe the real reason they’d been in such a rush to leave was to get away from you as fast as possible.

 

It wasn’t as if you’d done anything to leave a good impression on them, especially not Asgore. All you’d done since meeting him was argue. You’d even gotten carried away and rubbed blackberry juice in his fur, his glossy white, perfect fur. You’d gotten it in Frisks hair as well, what if Toriel, who sounded like an absolute dear, what if she saw what a mess you’d gotten her child into and decided that you were a bad influence? She might hate you already!

 

All that was just what happened that day. What about before all that?

 

The first time you met Sans and Papyrus you’d acted weak, getting mugged and having to have Papyrus step in and help you out. They could just have felt sorry for you and not actually meant to keep in contact.

 

What if it wasn’t just the monsters? What if the other witches hated you too? Wisp, Jazz and Zee… What could they possibly see in someone like you? You’d already managed to alienate almost every non-witch human you’d ever know a while back, how much different could it be for them too?

 

You felt like you’d singlehandedly dug a pit and jumped right in it, a pit so deep that you couldn’t see the light anymore. Or maybe it was more like someone had thrown a blanket over you. Not a nice blanket either, a heavy, scratchy, dirty blanket that didn’t even keep you warm. All it did was make you feel heavy and uncomfortable, making everything a hundred times more difficult than it needed to be, making you slow down and have to fight your way past the blanket just to keep on going.

 

Nonono, you couldn’t let your stupid brain ruin today for you. You just had to think happy thoughts! The bright, joyous look on Frisks face when you’d told them to go wild collecting fruit, Asgore’s smile when he called you short (you weren’t short). The playful banter the three of you had kept up almost the whole time. The sound of everyone’s laughter as you assaulted each other with small squishy berries.

 

It wasn’t quite enough, but the idea of it was good at least. You just couldn’t scrape enough happy memories together to bring yourself out of your sudden emotional slump.

 

Wasn’t it times like this that you were supposed to call Wisp? He was always there for you when you were feeling down. Then again, why did it always have to be someone else who helped you? Why couldn’t you just help yourself?

 

But everything would be fine if you just took a little walk, just to clear your head. You really just wanted to run home, lock the door and never come out again but you knew from bitter experience that didn’t help anyone, least of all you. If you took a walk, then maybe you’d be able to properly shake yourself into not being a miserable sack of flesh.

 

… It was going to have to be a long walk if you wanted that to work. An hour at least. Maybe more. Your resolution made, you started walking. You didn’t have a destination in mind, just letting your feet guide you and take you wherever they willed. The motion was repetitive, calming. It didn’t take long for you to lose yourself in the rhythm of your footsteps.

 

It was late. When had it gotten so late? It hadn’t even been dark when you’d started walking, the only light came from streetlamps and the stars.

 

Someone was talking to you. You knew that voice, you’d know Papyrus’s voice anywhere. You were confused at first as to why you could hear Papyrus’s voice, since you were fairly certain that he’d been on a date that day and had no reason to be there beside you. 

 

“BAGSY HUMAN I AM GETTING QUITE CONCERNED.”

 

“Oh. Hey there Paps.” He looked at you oddly, something unidentifiable hidden in the dark pools of his eye sockets. It looked a lot like concern.

 

“DID YOU ONLY JUST NOW NOTICE ME?” Well, he only just then started walking with you, right?

 

“Uh, yeah?”

 

“WE’VE BEEN WALKING TOGETHER FOR ALMOST AN HOUR NOW! I HAVE BEEN TALKING WITH YOU!”

 

You burst out in a fit of laughter, Paps sure knew how to make you laugh sometimes. What a joker. You abruptly stopped laughing when you realised that yes, he was actually being serious.

 

“IS EVERYTHING OKAY? MAYBE WE SHOULD GO AND SIT DOWN.” That sounded like a good idea but a quick look at your surroundings showed you that you had absolutely no clue where you were. Walking for hours on end in some sort of robotic, emotionless haze was not a good idea. Not at all. Papyrus picked up on your internal dilemma and took the lead, guiding you both to a park, not the one you usually frequented. Or at least, you didn’t think it was. It was hard to tell in the darkness. He kept up a constant stream of chatter, as upbeat and loud as ever. You also felt a gentle pressure in the small of your back from where he was guiding you along. It was comforting, even if you couldn’t always follow what he was actually talking about.

 

“YES, LET’S SIT HERE!” You broke your attention away from him and looked around a little more. He’d brought you to a perfectly ordinary park bench, illuminated only by a single streetlamp. It was cosy, or maybe that was just the effect of having good company.

 

Maybe Papyrus was just what you’d needed to pull yourself out of the emotional slump before you got in too deep. You’d been doing so well recently, despite all the emotional rollercoasters you been riding (even if a good half of them had fallen down flat and nothing had actually happened). You’d made new friends and kept in contact with your older friends, as well as all the things you’d managed to make happen. What was maybe most surprising to you and anyone who really knew you, you’d done the housework and kept things tidy during the good spell you’d just had. All by yourself. Before, your house had been dusty, the few rooms you did use had been cluttered. Not quite messy, but more clutter than there really needed to be. You’d found it within yourself to do the dusting in most of the main areas, prompted by the discovery that monsters really, _really_ hated seeing dust anywhere and from there you’d somehow managed to tidy. So yeah, you’d been doing great right up until a few hours ago.

 

Papyrus was talking to you as if nothing was wrong, which helped. It almost made you forget that anything actually was wrong, the way he steered clear of some subjects or changed the direction of the conversation if you started zoning out or getting uncomfortable, like when he’d started talking about Undyne and their other friends. Anything that hit a little too close to your newfound insecurities was avoided. Somehow you both started a conversation about your hair. An odd topic, but one you could talk about for hours.

 

“YOU KNOW, I USED TO DREAM OF FEELING THE WIND IN MY HAIR WHILE COASTING DOWN THE MOTORWAY IN A RED CONVERTIBLE SPORTS CAR. UNFORTUNATELY, I DON’T HAVE HAIR.”

 

You sniggered, thinking that it sounded exactly like something Paps would do.

 

“Hair isn’t all it’s made out to be y’know. Sure, it looks great and all but it’s a pain in the ass to look after. I have to brush mine at least three times a day just so it doesn’t get all matted and gross.” You swept your arms out wide, as if you were exclaiming to the heavens above “curse thee, thou cruel hair gods!” But… Papyrus wasn’t looking at you.

 

In fact, he was looking at someone behind you, who, until that moment had been lurking in the shadows. They looked angry, tense and ready to pounce. Tatty clothes and a wide smile which caught the light and made their teeth shine. The way the light danced around them, the air almost feeling icy and shallow, making it difficult to breathe properly. They almost looked feral, a feeling of danger emanating from them and making your heart work overtime.

 

“What are you doing, sister?” They hissed under their breath. They sounded angry, real angry. A shard of fear pierced your heart as you realised what the scene must have looked like.

 

An (attractive) young woman out late at night, alone with a monster in the middle of a secluded park where nobody would think to look. They were sat close together on the bench, Paps had his leg pressed against yours from where he’d turned in his seat to listen to you better, you were closer than some people would like. Some people would want the monsters back where they were before, as far away from humanity as they could get. To someone who didn’t know that she and paps were friends, who didn’t know that he’d just singlehandedly pulled her back from the precipice of an emotional breakdown… Well, to someone who was looking for a reason to hate monsters, it would be the perfect ammunition. Unless you said something.

 

“EEP! OH my gosh don’t hurt him we were just talking he wasn’t doing anything bad to me I swear!” they looked confused, the smile slipping from their face. All of a sudden, they looked a lot more well, more _human._

 

“Why would I hurt Paps?” That odd, quizzical expression they wore would have been amusing at any other time. Their face had gone from ‘murder’ to ‘confused kitten’ in less than ten seconds. It only then dawned on you that all their anger had been directed at you, not Paps.

 

Wait. That face. You knew that face.

 

“Smiler is that you? WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” Smiler, as in the small angry kid you’d met back in the institute. The small angry kid that you’d taught to smile that feral smile and had eventually started the fledgling M.net with. The same small angry kid that had died, that you still grieved the loss of even years later. Right here, right in front of you.

 

“Ummm…” Their eyes looked you up and down and you almost felt insulted when you realised that they didn’t know who you were. After all those years spent in each other’s company and they still didn’t recognise you straight away? Sure, you hadn’t recognised them either at first, but you were terrified! You’d thought that they might have been a threat and had been two small steps away from either making a run for it and Pulling Paps along with you or unleashing a whole can of whoopass on the mysterious assailant. “Bagsy…?” Well, finally, a little recognition. Would have been nice for them to sound more sure of it though, instead of like they’d had to scrape the bottom of their brain to dig out that little morsel of information.

 

“’sup.” A quiet whisper from behind you sent you reeling, receiving the second heart-stopping shock of the last five minutes. You screeched and almost fell off the bench, only recovering because Paps put an arm out to catch you. Goddammit how long had Sans been standing behind you?

 

“What are you even doing here Bagsy?” They sounded almost accusing, like you were the one who shouldn’t be there.

 

“Oh my god, you can’t seriously be asking me that.” They couldn’t be. They had to be kidding you. “ _You’re_ supposed to be dead! I got all sappy and everything! And Sans, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” You knew that your voice had risen an octave or two but at that moment you couldn’t give so much as a single damn about it.

 

Smiler was laughing at you, almost hysterically. All you could do in return was gape, suddenly unsure of where the hell your sanity went because you were half afraid that you were about to wake up and find out that everything was a dream. Sure, you were at least a little bit happy that your one-time best bud wasn’t half as dead as you’d thought they were, but you were a little pissed that it’d taken you both this long to find each other. Or for them to y’know… let you know they weren’t half as dead as previously thought. That would have been nice. 

 

Sans drew your attention back to the real world by replying with some uncalled for sass.

 

“Wouldn’t know pal, I’m a skeleton. I literally don’t have a heart.”

 

Clearly the ability to cheer someone up ran in the skeleton family. Must be in their bones.

 

“That was awful. I love it.” You managed a half-hearted chuckle and got a wink in return. Sans had draped his upper half over the back of the bench, resting on his elbows. He looked as if he was relaxed, but when he tilted his head a little to one side you could see that there was a thin layer of sweat coating his bones. It was a small tell, if you hadn’t been looking at the right moment then you wouldn’t have noticed at all. Something else must have happened that you didn’t know about for the two of them to even be there.

 

“AH, HUMANS! YOU KNOW EACH OTHER? AND SANS, STOP.” Paps perked up, looking between you all with an expression that was nothing short of joyous.

 

“Yeah Paps, me and Smiler here go way back!” you grinned, all the good memories you and Smiler had suddenly making a grand appearance. Hey, if they were definitely alive, which they looked like they probably were, and if they were friends with your friends that meant…

 

You were going to have so much fun with this.

 

“Guys I gotta make a call.” Smiler said, voice laced with panic and a little of what sounded to you like guilt. Then they caught sight of the tail end of your face at the revelation of all the embarrassing stories you could hold against them. “Bagsy, I don’t know what you’re about to say but don’t you dare.”

 

Pfft, yeah. Like that would ever stop you.

 

You launched into a few of your favourite stories involving your escapades together as soon as they’d turned away, pushing back any actual emotions you were feeling in favour of being the happy bubbly Bagsy that you always tried to be. You could think over tonight’s happenings later, right then, it was time to have a little fun.

 

Smiler was barely gone for five minutes before they were back again, looking a little bemused at the sight of you and Sans chatting away. Papyrus was staying quiet in fear of triggering Sans’s godlike pun abilities. You, on the other hand, were starting to wear a little thin. You could almost feel your happy mask slipping away and you needed to get away asap for some good ol’ incoherent screaming.

 

“Smiler! Just in time, I gotta head back soon.” You lied. A blatant lie and nobody noticed, because it was a reasonable lie.

 

“Do you guys know each other?” they asked, looking even more confused than before.

 

“Uh, yeah?” You were also being dragged into the realm of confusion, because, well, duh. Not like you’d grab a random skeleton off the street to chat with. 

 

“We have to talk.” They blurted, as if it was some kind of revelation. The statement didn’t sound like it had been aimed at any one of you, but you were guessing it was mostly for you. It would take days just for you to get everything off your chest that you wanted to, instead, you differed to an old favourite, now a newly revived game. Mess with Smiler.

 

“Aw sweet, a sleepover!”

 

“What the fuck Bagsy.” Target achieved.

 

That triggered a chain reaction that somehow ended up with you and Papyrus wanting a sleepover (hey, nobody could ever say no to the Papyrus brand of enthusiasm), but unfortunately, it quickly became apparent that it wasn’t really an option and that Papyrus’s date was worried about his whereabouts. You lit up like a Christmas tree when Smiler talked about Mettaton, the actual Mettaton, so casually. Like they were friends or something. Sure, you knew Paps was dating him now, but this was an entirely different thing to you. You weren’t sure why it was different, but it was.

 

Smiler surprised you again by inviting you to meet up the next day and talk things over, which honestly almost seemed more terrifying than the prospect of them actually being a monster hating butthead like you’d thought they might be before you realised who they really were. You weren’t so good at talking emotions. Especially not on short notice, Wisp was the only one who ever put up with your borderline incoherent ramblings.

 

You walked away that fateful night with plans to meet up with a long lost friend at one of your favourite places and a heart full of emotions that you’d have to iron out before you were ready to face them again. You had no idea that what had just transpired would change everything, throw even the best laid plans off kilter, that not in any single other alternate reality had you and Smiler been reunited, not under such peaceful circumstances at least. What the future held, nobody knew. Nobody ever could, but with any luck, it would be nothing like what had ever happened before.

 

It looked a lot to you like it was finally time to call Wisp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that blanket metaphor was legit how i described depression feeling like to a Councillor and she said it was legit and idk, it felt like it fit. 
> 
> (also when Bagsy was spaced out and didn't know Paps was there, that was when she told Papyrus about the stuff that's mentioned in Alley cat, but since Bagsy doesn't remember saying it i couldn't figure out a way to fit it in. If he'd known Bagsy didn't know what she was saying then Paps probably would have not let her keep talking because he is nice and pure and can respect a secret) 
> 
> idk if i've said this already but i'm not gonna make all the chapters that are shared with the other fic's dialogue exactly the same since that might get repetitive to write and read, but anything important will be kept and a few different scenes/perspectives will be shown because i have a clear plan in my head how i'm gonna play this out


	16. Chapter 16

“Hey Bagsy, I’m not complaining, really, but do you even know what time it is?” Wisp sounded half dead, meaning that he’d probably been awake anyway. That man lived on caffeine and little less than half the recommended amount of sleep for an adult male. He always sounded half dead, it was when you caught him in a caffeine low that you knew to start running.

 

“Yeah, yeah… I kinda had a crazy day.” You really were not lying.

 

He didn’t answer for a long moment, the sounds of life from the speakers being your only proof that he was still there.

 

“Okay, shoot.” Aw, he’d gone to get the notebook. He always kept notes in his lil’ notebook when you called him like this, the same notebook that had the list of ‘places Bagsy can be found (now including the spider bakery)’ tucked in the front page. 

 

“So you know how I was chilling with Frisk and Asgore earlier?” You figured you may as well save the best for last, otherwise the rest would just sound lame. Chronological order it was. Wisp hummed for you to keep talking. “well. Vinny was _not_ popular let me tell you. Would not recommend that one. Also did you know you can get drunk off monster magic? Because let me tell you, that was a _ride._ ”

 

He made some sort of alarmed squawk, which shut you up fast because maybe that was a detail he didn’t really need to know. “And how did you come to that discovery?”

 

“Doesn’t matter. Anyway, Muffet and Asgore are both total babes and monster food apparently made everything okay again but still, wow that was freaky while it lasted, would not recommend that either. I was just gonna go home after that, you know, get in some r&r while I had the chance but then I had _feelings_ and they _sucked_ so I was all ‘hey yeah, you know what’s a terrific idea? Going for a walk to clear my head!’ so off I went! It was all cool for a few minutes but then I spaced out or something ‘cus next think I know it’s darker than my future prospects and apparently Papyrus was there?” You paused, letting Wisp get his notes that you just knew he was taking up to speed before carrying on.

 

“Okay, so obviously he picked up that I was slightly outta whack so he sat me down on a bench in some park in the ass end of nowhere and we started talking about not all that much and he was actually helping, being all nice and stuff, y’know? Then like… everything went to hell! Literally dude, it was wild you will not believe it when I tell you!”

 

You heard him sigh and you could just imagine him, sitting at a table or an ornate writing desk (he owned three), jotting down your inane ramblings and trying his best not to interrupt you too often. He was probably rubbing at the bridge of his nose, still wearing his, probably dorky, day outfit because he knew better than anyone when he wasn’t about to get any sleep and didn’t waste time with pointless things like pyjamas if he wasn’t about to put them to use.

 

“Okay, after some of the things you’ve thrown at me these past few weeks, I’m probably not going to be surprised by anything you’re about to say.”

 

“Wanna bet?” You smirked, knowing darn well that you had this in the bag.

 

“How much?”

 

“Call it $20.”

 

“Deal.” Easy money right there. You paused, waiting for an opportune, dramatically appropriate moment to strike. Was that the sound of him taking a sip of an unidentified liquid substance you heard? Perfect.

 

“Smiler ain’t dead.”

 

He choked. You cackled.

 

“You’re shitting me. They’re dead, you said so. You wouldn’t lie about that.” Well, he was right about one of those things.

 

“Well, yeah duh. Guess that mysterious figure wearing what was only a little better than rags, _rags Wisp,_ yeah, that one who jumped out of the shadows and damn near gave me a heart attack before getting all scary like was just someone else then. Oh yeah, and I guess that touching emotional reunion we had was just something I made up then, huh. Thanks for clearing it up for me.”

 

He sighed so loudly that the speaker crackled. “Okay yeah, that was dumb.” You didn’t know if he was talking about what he’d said or what you’d answered, but it worked either way. “So let me get this straight, you had no idea they were alive? At all? Wait, don’t answer that. It makes perfect sense!”

 

“Uh, it does?”

 

“Yes! No… wait, yeah, yeah it does! All the reports…” You racked your brains and still came up blank, meanwhile Wisp was still muttering about reports and how he should have seen it earlier.

 

“You’re going to have to spell it out to me dude, I’m not following.” He laughed down the line, sounding about as giddy as you were confused, which was a lot. A lot confused.

 

“Okay, remember when I told you about the anti-monster gangs claiming that they’d dusted monsters? And how there hadn’t actually been any word from the monsters on the matter? Well, if no monsters died, or none stayed dead, why would they need to report it? Smiler was, is _,_ special, unique even. Nobody else on record or not can do what they do, they bring the dead back to life! Who else could it have been? We thought that they were gone but now they’re back, god it was so obvious when I think about it!”

 

“Dude, your nerd is showing.” Honestly, you’d forgotten about those strange reports, written them off as some dumb tough guys putting up a front for their pals, wouldn’t have been the first time. Besides, a lot of cool/weird stuff had happened since then, why would you remember a few reports that were pretty much only slightly weird.

 

You still remembered the day you’d told Wisp about Smiler, what the dumb kid was capable of with the whole freaky death stuff and how you’d found out. Some bully you’d been having issues with had taken it upon themselves to kill your favourite rabbit one day for some reason you’d forgotten at some point, you’d found the body first and had run off to go grab the things you’d need to deal with it, but when you’d gotten back you’d walked in on something entirely different. Smiler, covered in what looked like a layer of ice holding a perfectly alive rabbit that was completely unharmed.

 

Back in the institute, you’d been allowed to tend the rabbits since there hadn’t been anyone else willing, that and you were the one who grew the plants they ate as food. After Rat, your friend and the dude who looked after all the animals before you was gone, nobody else really wanted to take over what he’d been doing. It’d been the source of quite a lot of jealously at the time, being seen as an act of favouritism. Because yeah sure, doing something that nobody else wanted to do was such a big deal. That was, until even people as dense as the bully in question begun to realise that you and your crew were either best avoided or befriended.

 

You’d told Wisp that story, albeit with a few embellishments and a gratuitous amount of sobbing. Wisp had then gone on to badger you for every little detail about them, becoming an actual, bonafide fanboy.

 

“Right, so how are you taking this?” Wisp managed to pull himself together if only to make sure that you were okay.

 

Which you most definitely were not.

 

“Actually I’m pissed as all hell! That little bastard was alive this whole time and they didn’t think to tell me? At all, not even a note or I don’t know, standing at a street corner and nodding at me after a brief moment of eye contact from across a crowd before melting back into the shadows, only to reappear when they were most needed?” You were being ridiculous and you knew it, but as far as you were concerned, you had every right to be angry. You’d parted on a bad note, then been told that they were dead and that you’d never see them again. That you’d never get the chance to talk, to settle your differences. But you’d been lied to, they’d been alive the whole time and nobody had bothered to clue you in. You didn’t know how they’d managed to survive, or what they’d been doing this while time, but you did know one thing.

 

You were the one that was kept in the dark and you hated it. You hated it with every fibre of your being.

 

But on some level, despite your bitterness, you understood.

 

You understood that they’d probably just wanted to leave the past behind. The institute was a horrible place, being free, for them, would have been a fresh start. The clean slate that every witch dreamed of. And they wouldn’t have known where to look to find you, you both hardly ever spoke of your lives before the institute so how would they have found you even if they’d tried? For all you knew, they might have tried at some point and failed.

 

You laughed nervously “yeah. I’m meeting them tomorrow at one and I am a nervous wreck.”

 

“You’re seeing them again?”

 

“Well, that’s what I just said. The words from my mouth. The way I manipulated the language we speak-“

 

“Bagsy, shush, I’m thinking” he cut through your chatter like a hot knife through lukewarm butter. You shut your trap with a slight ‘clack’ and patiently waited for Wisp to think things through. Good old Wisp. “So, I’m guessing it’ll be easier on you if you I come with you, yeah?” You nodded, then remembered that he wouldn’t be able to see you nodding and promptly made a sound of affirmation “Okay, so what if we get them to join M.net? They’re bound to ask what you’ve been up to and you’re bound to tell them, so why not invite them to join us?”

 

“Wisp, I really don’t think they’d be too into that, they’re not really the type.”

 

“They type to what? Do the right thing? I really doubt that, besides, we could just… I don’t know, give them an honorary position or something. It’s more like coming home for them after all, the two of you made M.net together.”

 

“Okay but you sir, are doing the talking, I want literally no part in that.” You tried to sound as stern as possible, so he knew that you were being serious. You didn’t want to be the one to drag them back into a life they’d left behind, even if it was just in part.

 

Serious stuff aside, you had another problem you’d have to get sorted out.

 

“Also, Wisp, my friend, I am very much lost please come and get me.” Did you ever mention that you were sat on some wall? You still had no idea where you were but you’d wandered off so the others didn’t worry. You’d said you had to go and after that you had to carry your lie to fruition, which left you chilling in a perfectly ordinary red brick wall not a two minute walk from the park.

 

“You couldn’t have told me this earlier.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“You know, I really wish I could hate you sometimes, what’s the nearest street? I’ll send someone to come find you.”

 

You cheerfully told him the name of the road and waited patiently until your ‘ride’ which consisted of an irate but freshly caffeinated Zee and a sleepy Jazz arrived, still having been talking emotions with Wisp right up until the moment they arrived. He was reluctant to hang up, but trusted the other two to make sure you were totally as okay as you could be given the circumstances before leaving you alone for the night. Normally you’d hate being coddled, but sometimes just knowing that people really did care made it worth putting up with it.

 

The drive was a little awkward, with Zee stoutly ignoring you in favour of not falling asleep at the wheel and Jazz politely asking you to not wander off and get lost late at night again. Zee was a grouchy grouch when he was tired and Jazz was a natural mother hen no matter what mood they were in. Neither of them probed too deep into why exactly they had to come collect you from a street corner in the dead of night, probably Wisps doing. It’s not like this was their first time having to do it either. You imagined that at this point Wisp just sent them an address and said something along the lines of “please come and collect our child”.

 

Before you even knew it, you were back home. You fell asleep as soon as your head hit your nice plush pillow, the day having taken more of a toll on you than you’d expected. So much had happened, so little you’d been prepared for.

 

You woke up the next day to Wisp shaking you awake, having let himself in. Jazz had locked the door using your key on their way out after Zee had taken you to your room to stop you from crashing out on the sofa, or, as had happened before, in the kitchen. You hadn’t set an alarm in your sleepy daze and of course Wisp had expected that, since he knew you so well and had probably already been told by Zee and Jazz that you were unconscious before they even left.

 

Wisp, bless his perfect, pure soul, was practically glowing. He was trying to contain his excitement but it was written all over him. Where you’d be reconnecting with an old friend later, Wisp would be getting to meet his idol, who was also in some ways his predecessor.

 

Didn’t mean you were all too happy to be awake.

 

“I brought breakfast, Muffet said hi. So you’d better get up, we’ve got places to be.”

 

You were now happy to be awake.

 

You got up and dressed in a record three minutes, though you did skip out on putting on any makeup until after food. Food came first. Food was the best, never mind the fact that it was only… an as of yet undetermined amount to time before you were supposed to go meet Smiler, who was hopefully just as alive as the night before, at a food based establishment.

 

A glance at the time on your phone (thank you Zee for putting it on charge for you) told you that it was Almost 12. By the time you’d eaten and gotten properly ready you were _probably_ going to be at least a little late.

 

Heh, nothing new there then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EY I'M ALMOST DONE WITH COOL LEG U KNO WHAT THIS MEANS? 
> 
> days spent procrastinating on the things i enjoy, that's what.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought i already posted this... i added like, 200 words to it on here and edited a few bits... then closed the tab without posting... aaaaaaaaa

Wisp had somehow performed a miracle. Prophets would sing of his feat, for he, who was but a mere mortal man, had gotten you there early. A full half hour before your planned meeting time, you had arrived. He got you both a ride from Jazz, basically. He was a man of many resources. 

 

Still, his foresight was pretty impressive. Even though it soon turned out that he just wanted to creepy stare at Smiler as they worked. No sooner had Jazz left the two of you to it, he’d started _vibrating_. He’d clenched his fists in front of him and actually, genuinely _squealed_. Frisk hadn't even been this excited when you'd all been picking blackberries. Oh dear he was not fangirling over your recently non-deceased best friend. How were you supposed to freak out when you had to keep him in check before he could ask for their autograph or something equally as creepy. Well, at least he was busy keeping you from acting on your tiny inner voice that was screaming at you to turn around and run away.

 

“Wisp. Please don’t be weird. Smiler is a normal human, not a god or a demigod or any sort of non-human deity, got it?”  He didn’t answer, instead just taking a deep breath in, managing to look halfway sane at least. That would have to do, since he was already moving to open the door to the bakery. You honestly did try your best not to roll your eyes. You didn't succeed.

 

The familiar tinkle of the bell above the door set your racing heart at ease like nothing else, you’d never been more glad to be somewhere so familiar. Muffet nodded at your entrance, you figured that Wisp must have filled her in on what was going to go down, since she pointed you in the direction of your amigo.

 

The precious nugget was wiping down tables, looking like they should be leaving a trail of powdery white flour in their wake but somehow avoiding it. They hadn't noticed you come in, probably since this was probably the first time in recorded history that you'd ever turned up early without literally having an escort. Well, Wisp didn't exactly count as an escort, he was more of a tag along if anything. You thought that it was either pretty brave or pretty desperate of them to be working with spiders of all things. You still remembered all the times that they flipped the hell out whenever an arachnid got within twenty feet of them. There had been the spiders in the bed incident that had them curled up in bed beside you for almost a month afterwards. In their defense, you'd made Rat deal with them, finding two three-inch wolf spiders was no joke.

 

You didn’t linger long, closing the gap between you within moments, pulling them into the tightest hug you could manage. You tried to pour everything you were feeling into the embrace, all the pain and hurt but overall how happy you were to have them back. Although how much of that you managed to get across you had no idea, since you’d only managed to cut off their air supply. Maybe if they hadn’t tensed up like a nervous goose then they might have still been able to breathe, but no. You gave them one last, parting squish before putting them back down, by which time Wisp had meandered his way closer, still looking utterly star struck.

 

“Who’s this?” Smiler asked, looking a little put out by the strange man who was staring at them.

 

“Oh right, this dude’s Wisp. He’s another witch by the way.” You said it as flippantly as you dared, earning a small glare from your darling comrade. Serves him right for being creepy.  

 

You spotted Muffet lurking behind the counter giving you all the stink eye, probably wanting her newest non-spiderling employee to stop talking to the (best and her most favourite) paying customers. You just threw her a wink but the damage was done and Smiler excused themselves to get back to work.

 

You took your place at the table in the corner, the one you’d unofficially claimed as your own and the one that Asgore had coincidently tried to prop you up in after the fateful Vinny the vine encounter. Now the table would have ‘had Wisp, Bagsy and Smiler sat at it all at once’ to it’s list of accolades. Well, maybe ‘had two weird witches proposition a third, weirder witch’ would be a more accurate title, but whatever. You’d practically had to drag Wisp along behind you, the dolt was too busy with his jaw hitting the floor to try and do normal human things.

 

You were ashamed to say that rather than any meaningful conversations or possible going over the game-plan for exactly what Wisp wants to say to Smiler to try and win them over, you both spend half an hour shamelessly staring at them as they go about their perfectly mundane business.

 

Muffet came over at one point, partly to tell you to actually order something and partly to have her usual gossip session with you. She was nice enough not to point out the way you kept looking over her shoulder to her human employee, but she definitely knew.

 

“So Bagsy dearest, how’re you feeling after the other night?” You pulled yourself away from the amusing sight of Smiler interacting with a seven inch tall spider only to realise that Muffet had been talking to you, the only known Bagsy in the room.

 

“Uh… Good! Really, thanks, you really saved Asgores ass.” That and the magical monster cure had healed up your black eye as well as any of that weird spirit damage or whatever. Your face would forever be grateful for the

 

“Don’t you mean your derriere? I seem to remember you being the one-” You remember too late that under no circumstances was the man giving googoo eyes to the unfortunate waif across the room to ever find out about the exact details of the event you were discussing right there in front of him.

 

“Sweetheart, the wrath of every witch in a eighty mile radius would have been turned against him if anything had happened to me. You saved royal ass” You meant that in the nicest of ways of course, you’d already told Muffet about what you did, only to discover that both Asgore and Wisp had already not only filled her in, but had even recruited her. Apparently having the woman who was at the centre of the monster gossip web was useful for gathering information. Who’d have ever guessed? Still, she knew that you wouldn’t really threaten her, for one thing Muffet could probably wipe the floor with you if it ever came down to it, that girl would face down a demon if she saw reason to.

 

 She just gave you the look she always gave you whenever you toed the line between compliment and grave insult around her, but otherwise did nothing more than leave after two minutes of mostly polite conversation when another customer came in.

 

When the clock finally decided to get its act together and let it be Smilers lunch break, Wisp practically wet himself with joy. You didn’t even try to keep the stupid smirk off your face, seeing Smiler really, really confused as to why this small pale man was looking at them like they were a superhero. It was getting a little old though, since Wisp was supposed to be your emotional support and all. You had to break the ice somehow.

 

“Dude, stop being a dork already, Smiler doesn’t bite.” Oh boy this was a good one. You kept a straight face before delivering what was quite possibly the most pathetic but best line you’d ever dropped “hard.”

 

You’d like to think that was a nod of approval from Muffet, not just her nodding at the customer she’d just finished serving.

 

Wisp meanwhile, had turned a nice shade of rouge. “Bagsy how could you just… I can’tbelieveyoujustsaidthat.”

 

His sanity was a worthy price to pay if it meant that both you and Smiler could laugh. You couldn’t stop thinking of your ulterior motive though, that maybe they’d think you’d only agreed to meet them was for some weird recruitment thing and refused to ever talk to you again. That would be horrible, the thought alone was horrible. God, why did you think about that while you were laughing?

 

Wisp had gone back to staring at Smiler, seemingly entranced by their laugh. If you didn’t know for a fact that Wisp was the biggest aroace to ever aroace, you’d seriously be thinking about having a stern talk with him about age and general nope. Not even general nope, more like Colonel Nope of the Absolutely Not Squadron.

 

“Wisp, dude, chill. Please. You made me bring you don’t make me regret it.” He muttered something about meeting his hero before pulling himself together (at last) and actually getting on with things.

 

“So you’re really Smiler? THE Smiler?” He was looking them dead in the eye, as if you identifying them yourself wasn’t enough evidence for him. Bloody man and his truth testing eye contact superpower magic. You loved him, you really did, but he was completely blowing this whole conversation.

 

“Uh, yeah. Are there many others?” They tried. They tried their very best to crack a joke, but you could practically feel how awkward this conversation was going to get and you were having none of it.

 

“Screw this, he came because the old network’s still a thing and he wants to know if it was you screwing around with the non-magic pricks. Which by the way, we already know it was.” There, simple and concise. No awkward beating around the bush. Smiler looked as if you’d just thrown a pail of lukewarm water at them.

 

“What do you mean? I stay out of things like that where I can.”

 

The thing about lying to you is, it’s really not a good idea to do it while looking at the human lie detector. All it took was a small signal from Wisp and you saw straight through them. Besides, you and Wisp had already managed to stitch together most of the story, that they’d been using their powers for years, especially when it came to monsters and monster related attacks. It was amazing how much information Wisp could dig up in the space of a few hours, he’d already gathered dozens of ‘reports’ from the people and monsters they’d saved.

 

They were really too kind for their own good, not even taking proper payment for saving lives. Even the kindest doctors got paid for their work, this scamp just took trinkets.

 

“Oh really? So you know another witch who can bring back the dead then? Honestly, you went quiet for the last few weeks and we were getting worried that something had happened to you before we could find you.”

 

Oh well, he hadn’t told you that bit. Either he’d just made that up or he had some explaining to do. You glared at him and much to your annoyance, he didn’t even react. But then again, you didn’t react to the equally as violent look Smiler sent your way, so maybe that was fair.

 

An explosion of laughter from your exceedingly happy little not-dead friend caught both you and Wisp off guard, as if he’d made the funniest joke in the world. Then, they dropped a literal bombshell on you both.

 

“Yeah. I got stabbed.”

 

“What!?” You, in all your years… bloody hell.

 

Why the hell were they smiling after saying that???

 

They weren’t even done. Nope, they just had to rub salt in their own wound and then keep on bloody smiling as they did. It was ridiculous as much as it was exactly the stupid shit that they’d do.

 

“I got stabbed. A lot. Toriel said over twenty times.” You looked at them, wondering exactly how on earth anyone could get stabbed that many times (or at all) and still be smiling.

 

“W-well that uh, yeah that would explain it.” Thankfully Wisp pulled himself back together before you, buying you some more time to process the fact that your ‘not as dead as previously believed’ friend had recently almost become the ‘just as dead as previously believed but with a different timestamp’. “Anyway, you’re here now. Bagsy’s told me that you probably wouldn’t want to formally re-join M.Net”, so instead I have a proposition for you.”

 

“Sure, go ahead.” You felt nervous all of a sudden. How on earth you and Wisp had managed to pull this off in the what, twelve hours since you’d both parted ways, of which you were conscious for approximately three hours, you had no idea.

 

You did the honours, slowly sliding the box across the table. They looked at it as if you’d just dumped a brick on the table. Then they unwrapped it, still looking at it like it was a brick.  A very expensive brick that could almost be mistaken for a handheld cellular device. Because it was. It was a handheld cellular device and you were damn proud that you’d managed to get one so quickly.

 

“It’s so we can contact you.” Much to your annoyance, Wisp ambushed Smiler with a whole bunch of semi guilt trip material. He may not see it that way, but if this creature in front of you was even half the person you remembered, that’s how they’d take it. “Since you went quiet the number of attacks on both us witches and monsters have increased. For the most part we’ve managed to avoid any casualties but we’re not omnipotent. We slip up sometimes. With your talents we could save so many lives. From our understanding this is hardly different to what you always do, only now you’ll be better informed.”

 

They tried to brush it off, not being able to brush off the slight unease in their voice. For one thing, they’d giggled. You just knew they were thinking of those sweet, sweet juiceboxes that had been the foundation for your small rebellion forces. Sure, things had changed since then, but the principle was the same.

 

Wisp looked set to say something and interrupt their thinking time, so you kicked him under the table and shook your head. That, and he’d probably been about to point out that Muffet had been standing behind them for the last five minutes.

 

They sighed, before meeting your eyes. They had striking eyes, not because of their shape of colour, but because of how much emotion there was there. It always had caught you off-guard and nothing had changed. They were the same but different, just like everything else about Smiler.

 

“Okay. Just not when I’m at work, Muffet’ll have my head if I try and leave early.”

 

“That I will deary~”

 

The screech they made was totally worth Muffet kicking you out five minutes later for distracting the staff.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get another chapter up fairly fast since i'm disappearing for 9 days from the 12th-21st and won't have wifi other than through someone else's data on their phone, don't want to fall into the habit of leaving huge gaps between updates

Unknown Number: Why hello my dear~!

You: Who dis?

Unknown Number: Oh, just a friend of a friend

You: …

If ur trying to mess with me, don’t.

Unknown Number: And I could say the same to you darling!

You: ?

Unknown Number: Don’t play coy sweetheart, who are you really? As much as I adore the kitten I can’t say I much trust you.

You: Kitten…? Look, dude, I don’t know who you are. U sure u got the right number?

Unknown Number: Certain, Bagsy. X

 

Staring at the screen of your phone for a solid three minutes without blinking yielded no answers. You actually just ended up with tears in your eyes and pain everywhere so you weren’t all that sure why you couldn’t have stared at your screen and blinked at regular intervals, other than for the effect that was wasted on everyone but yourself because you were alone and hopefully nobody was watching you. That would be weird. Just like if somebody was writing a story about every detail of your life and other people were reading it. Hey, you had a pretty story-worthy life. You could totally write an autobiography. Not that you’d need or even want to, but it was definitely a thing that could maybe happen.

 

Not the point you were trying to get at there. You were just getting distracted again. The point was an unknown number seemed to be passive-aggressively but very slowly making a point while trying to unsettle you (maybe).

 

You contemplated your choices, which you were perfectly entitled in doing what with a seemingly random stranger accusing you of… something? You were fairly sure that you hadn’t offended any baby cats recently and you didn’t know anyone called Kitten. Maybe there was a witch talking about you behind your back? You’d have thought you’d have known them if that was the case though. Usually you’d just block the number, send screenshots and the number to Wisp and leave it behind, but after what had happened over the last few days and the tone of the texts, you were starting to get the impression that the sender wasn’t exactly a human. That, and you’d already blocked the number twice since the first text and it had just unblocked itself. How that was possible you may never know, but it had happened. It was a little unnerving, but you’d at least try and deal with this like a polite, civil human being first.

 

You: Listen, tell me who u r and what u want or I swear to god I will tear ur ass to shreds do u hear me?

Unknown Number: Darling, I don’t doubt that you could, but would you really want to put a scratch on a national icon?

You: Well?

MTT: There, is that better?

 

You stared at your phone in confusion, having an unknown number suddenly change its contact information was weird. You were fairly certain that even a human hacker couldn’t do that without having gotten hold of your phone at some point (the last person other than you to handle your phone had been Zee, who wouldn’t do that to you) so that pretty much confirmed your suspicions that the sender was a monster.

 

That and MTT was an ultra-famous brand name belonging to a certain robot monster who’s boyfriend you’d had a heart to heart with in the dead of night barely any time ago. There was a decent chance that you’d figured out who it was.

 

You: Oh yh. Totally.

U gonna tell me what I did wrong or…?

MTT: Frankly, I have no idea what happened last night. Papyrus just up and disappeared after our date and we all went half mad looking for him, only to discover that he was in the hands of a perfect stranger! As if that wasn’t enough, nobody would tell me who you were, I had to ask Muffet. MUFFET! Nobody else would tell me anything!

You: woah.

Chill.

MTT: I will not chill!

You: K, but who is ‘kitten’? I legit do not know who

Wait

Do u mean Smiler?

MTT: Yes…?

You: I’m calling u

 

You’d panicked a little at Mettatons mini diva rant, so you’d told him to chill. Because whatever that was, it wasn’t chill and you weren’t entirely sure that you knew where he was trying to go with the whole ‘conversation’ thing. Sometimes you found it easier to talk to people directly, so maybe it’s be the same? You still had a bit of time before you’d arranged to go shopping with Smiler (more like you’d left them a text telling them that it was going to happen and they hadn’t objected).

 

You hadn’t slept all that much, nothing that a good old dose of caffeine couldn’t fix. Wisp was yet to understand that actual humans and monsters needed sleep and had kept you up half the night raving about Smiler. Either that or you were slowly morphing into Wisps doppelganger. You could sometimes swear that he was trying to infect you with his A terrifying thought. Your favourite bit of the conversation had gone something like this:

 

 

“So are they always so…?” He waved his hand absently, the other hand firmly wrapped around the blackest coffee you’d ever seen. You’d seen tar that looked more appetising than that.

 

“So what?”

 

“Creepy?”

 

You snorted, because the last thing Smiler was is creepy. You had warned him about their constant smiling (duh, clue’s in the name) but yeah, it could be pretty freaky if you didn’t know them you guess. Considering that you both spent all your time around equally weird people, you hadn’t thought that Wisp would really have picked up on it, especially since he was one of the aforementioned people. Mr ‘skin as white as bleached laundry and dresses like an anime edgelord’.

 

“Dude, that’s just their face.”

 

“No I mean… there’s just something off about them. They seemed nice, don’t get me wrong here, but their magic. It felt different, colder somehow.”

 

That was weird. Magic was magic, you didn’t really think to whip out a thermometer whenever people used it. Smiler hadn’t even used any magic so you had no idea what he was talking about, even when they had used magic around you, there hadn’t been anything particularly weird. Well, the whole ‘resurrecting the dead’ thing was pretty weird, so was the ‘getting covered in ice whenever I do it’ thing.

 

Oh. Ohhhhh. Yeah, ice was cold. How in the hell did Wisp pick up on that though? It’s not like they walked around with ice all over them, they’d actually been covered in flour. How Muffet could stand to look at them the way they were covered in white powder that closely resembled the dead bodies of her species you weren’t sure you wanted to know.

 

“Wow. Yeah that almost makes sense.” You kept your face blank as usual throughout that, keeping Wisp forever in the dark about if you were being sarcastic or not. It was forever to remain a mystery.

 

 

That part of the conversation was your favourite because you were stupid.

 

“Hello.” A familiar robotic voice picked up. Yup it was confirmed, unless someone had developed a very good Mettaton voice simulator just to mess with you, you were talking to Mettaton. You’d probably have to save processing the fact that you were talking to a literal superstar public icon and pioneer for advertising magic rights another time, since he sounded pretty peeved.

 

“Hey there, next time you think about randomly being a flamboyant and creepy creep, please remember that I can and I will kick your ass.” You were proud of that one. Considering you were approximately ten seconds away from unleashing Wisp and his many ‘contacts’ on him, you considered it more of a warning than a threat.

 

“Right… Well, this is rather awkward.”

 

“You don’t say. What were you trying to do by harassing me?” You channelled your inner Jazz. Jazz was great at dealing with people who were getting on their nerves. You were rewarded handsomely for your excellent impersonation skills with what you were guessing was the robotic equivalent of indignant spluttering, garbled glitchy noises. You thought that was beautiful. That you could make such a composed character glitch out, a thing of wonder.

 

“I was not harassing you!” You hummed, sounding as disbelieving as you could. “ _anyway_ I just wanted to know what it was that was so important that my boyfriend” he sounded way too giddy about saying the word ‘boyfriend’ “wandered halfway across town with you.”

 

You settled down in your seat, hunkered down and ready for the long haul.

 

“Kinda personal things, you know? Like my deteriorating mental health, encounters with your king and ambassador… the usual. Then I blanked out and your amazing boyfriend, nice catch by the way, found me and tagged along while I was totally out of it.”

 

Is what you would have said, if you gave a damn.

 

“Because he’s a big boy who can look after himself.” Is what you actually said.

 

“Darling, you’ve misinterpreted me here somewhere. My problem isn’t with Papyrus, it’s with you. Who are you?”

 

Oh dear lord. You were getting pretty tired of telling people about your top-secret on pain of death organisation of underground rebels for the magically inclined.

 

“What?”

 

“Oh, did I say that out loud?” Saved you the effort of saying it diplomatically on purpose at least, not like it was much of a ‘top-secret on pain of death’ thing anyway. Ha. Not anymore.

 

“Yes!” you heard him take a breath, with was likely for dramatic effect or some social cue, what with him being a robot and all, before he carried on talking, his voice grinding like you’d just wedged a rock in his gears “What do you mean by that? And how is Papyrus involved?”

 

“Oh! He isn’t really _involved,_ at least, I don’t think he is? Asgore never mentioned it at least, but I could ask? We’re just friends, he doesn’t work for me or anything. He actually stopped me getting mugged!”

 

“Yes, yes, I am aware how wonderful my boyfriend is. And how exactly is that supposed to explain who you are and why I should trust you?”

 

“I can tell you embarrassing childhood stories about Smi- ‘ _kitten_ ’! We pretty much grew up together.” You started giving a damn, you didn’t know why but suddenly, you felt the overwhelming need to embarrass your friend in any way possible. Even to the creepy international superstar who’d indirectly accused you of being unworthy of being in his boyfriends presence (he was right).

 

And like hell you were about to pass up a chance at embarrassing them in their own home to their own housemate. Housemate. Huh. What a concept. You wondered what it was like to live in a reasonably sized house with a reasonable amount of people. Probably a very reasonable feeling. You weren’t about that life though, rattling around in your huge house with you, yourself and you again for company. It was a riot.

 

He didn’t answer for a moment and you heard the muffled sound of voices through the phones speakers.

 

“Okay, good enough. They just left, now do tell~?”

 

You could have sworn you were forgetting something important, but if you’d learned anything in your life, it’s that you always ended up forgetting something. It was a fact of life. Inevitable, annoying, but most of all… you wanted to talk to Mettaton. Because Mettaton.

 

You dished out the dirt and in return, you received some very… _useful_ information. It wasn’t just Smiler you talked about, since you did actually have other friends. He forced you to explain a little more about M.net You used all your charm and charisma to win the guy over, meaning that what you’d really done is talked each other’s ears off about a mutual interest until you remembered that said mutual interest was probably waiting for you and that you were late yet again.

 

“Hey so this is cool and all, but I really have to go.” You cut in at an appropriate time. You were nothing if not polite.

 

Saying goodbye, you slammed your phone in your bag and sprinted at speed of a very eager snail to try and not ruin Christmas (shopping). It would just be terrible if you were so late that Smiler gave up on Christmas (shopping) and went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in dialogue hell


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty no more updates until the 23rd at least because i won't have wifi but with my erratic schedule that's probably not that long for you guys :') (I'll try and finish up the next chapter for Alley Cat before i go because it's half written already i got this guys, i got this)

Shopping was one of your favourite things in the world, and yet you were bored witless. Something about the faux cheerful atmosphere just drained all the life out of you, Smiler wasn’t fairing much better. At least they were fairly oblivious to some of the sidelong glances that were being shot your way. Maybe Jazz was right, maybe you did have a reputation around here. Some were outright hostile, the classic air of a disgruntled Christmas shopper who couldn’t give a damn that everyone there was equally as disgruntled and Christmas Shopper-y.

 

Smiler was dragging you into almost every shop, yet somehow managing to avoid your usual haunts completely. You were beginning to lose the will to live, until they veered off in the direction of a small music store. You knew this place, the owners were witch friendly. Actually, if you remembered right, they had a young son who was a witch, he’d narrowly avoided being forced into going to the local academy thanks to the arrival of the monsters.

 

While you felt perfectly at home, Smiler looked completely and totally out of their depth. You could have asked them what it was they were after, but they were so busy rattling on about some ghost monster they were shopping for that you figured that it was better just to leave them to it, striking up conversation with the guy stacking shelves. His name tag looked familiar, his face a little too. You couldn’t figure out why until he reached up to one of the higher shelves, one that held a few stereo systems aimed at small children (so much pink and blue, why not just make them purple and have done with it?). His sleeve fell back a little and revealed a shiny silver brand. Huh. This place really was witch friendly. He winced, catching you looking. You just shot him a grin, pausing your conversation about which instruments you both preferred just long enough to turn slightly, lifting your hair so he could see the brand on your neck. You’d have taken your jacket off to show him but he looked a little jumpy, you didn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

 

Smiler eventually dragged you away again, but not before you managed to send a text to Wisp asking about the witch man you’d just run into. It’d be pretty cool if he was already one of yours, even cooler if he wasn’t and you could recruit him to your noble cause of justice and blah blah blah. It was always good for witches like you to have something to fall back on, a safety contact to call if he left work late and ran into trouble or something. M.Net was cool like that, even if it did have a dorky name.

 

Wisp replied a few minutes later, just as you saw a lady with a pushchair battling her way through the crowd. You managed to step out the way, Smiler half a step behind, but she still ploughed right into them.

 

“What the hell lady?” You half snapped half growled, not particularly caring that she just carried in her way. You’d both left space for her, what the hell did she think she was doing? Just because she was a sour old trout who had no life prospects didn’t give her the right to thrust her child transportation device made of hard plastic and barely smoothed metal into Smilers fleshy human legs! She could have really hurt them.

 

You had half a mind to run after her and yell at her about being a responsible parent and a generally decent person. You probably would have done if Smiler wasn’t already pulling you away.

 

The incident was forgotten soon enough, though you were still quietly fuming. Maybe food would help you put it behind you.

 

If the food didn’t help, the shock at seeing what Smiler was willingly going to eat would have done. Did that kid have no taste buds? You could appreciate that they were working on a budget but that was just tragic. That sorry excuse for a sandwich barely looked edible.

 

“Dude, go grab something else. I am literally begging you, your stomach will thank me later.” You were met with a brick wall of nope, they weren’t having it for even a moment. They didn’t even let you pay. It wasn’t like you couldn’t afford it, you had more money than sense anyway by some miracle of birthrights. You got them a drink, just so they could wash the trash that they insisted on eating down. Ugh. Even then they only took it when you handed them a couple of painkillers for the headache you had a lucky guess at them having. Why were they so stubborn?

                               

The food court chairs were borderline torture devices. They were hard and cheap and dug in all the wrong places. They were so bad that even Smiler winced a little when they collapsed into one of them, you’d once found this kid curled up asleep on a pile of hardback books.

 

“I swear, what do you even buy for these guys? Everything I can think of is way too obvious! We’d just end up getting them something they already have or that someone else had already got them.” They spoke the unspoken until that moment truth. All this stuff was too tacky. You told them so and then they took a bite of the gross sandwich impersonator. You shuddered on their behalf.

 

You remembered that Wisp had replied but that you hadn’t actually read the message. A cursory glance at your phone was enough to make you roll your eyes so hard you could’ve sworn you saw your brain.

 

“So I hear Wisp wasted no time in making use of you, how did last night go?” They must have missed the disdain in your voice, because seriously what an initiation. _Hey, welcome to the club, have an up close and personal encounter with the worst possible outcome on your first day!_

 

“Could have been worse I guess, I got covered in dust and it was really gross. Now I’m exhausted but at least I got the job done.” Well duh, like there was any doubt of them getting it done. The dust thing sounded pretty gross though, you’d have hated that. They didn’t sound too bothered, knowing them they’d probably had worse. Well, just going by some of the stories you’d heard about them, you knew they’d been covered in worse. If there was worse. Messier might be a better word there.

 

You were still pretty proud of the little tyke. It was odd that Wisp hadn’t mentioned it before to you though, maybe he wanted you to have this conversation or maybe it just slipped his mind. You didn’t know.

 

And speaking of things you didn’t know…

 

“Nice job! I gotta ask though, you know how I like to stick my foot right in things, how much do the monsters actually know?” you really did like to stick your foot in things more often than you liked. You’d been pretty okay with the outcomes recently, your awkwardness had been working for you pretty darn well all things considered. Maybe less so with the Vinny thing, that had been a terrible idea. You weren’t quite so sure how it would translate over to Smiler though, so you adopted the policy of ‘better safe than sorry’.

                                                                                  

“They know I’m a witch, they never really asked what kind so I never told them. The two I live with know pretty much everything though, I kinda had to tell them.” That’s as much as you expected. The only reason you knew about their abilities was because you’d caught them red handed, it made a twisted sort of sense that the same would happen again further down the line. Smiler wasn’t done talking though, clearly. They had a not-so-creepy-and-actually-kinda-cute smile like they found something hilarious. “Wisp mentioned something interesting though. He cornered me after I finished work.”

 

Of course, Wisp. You tell him to leave Smiler alone, and like the fanboy he is he finds a way to talk to them more anyway.

 

“Ugh! I told him not to bother you unless he had to. Go on then, what did he tell you that he couldn’t say in front of me?” Sure, Muffet had been there too, but Muffet was Muffet.

 

“He asked me to subtly ask you if you’re _just_ a herbologist.” You swore quietly under your breath. Smiler was totally relaxed in their seat, looking at you and waiting patiently for your answer. There was a hint of curiosity in their eyes though, you couldn’t really blame them for it.

 

“Why would he ask you that? Also, great job at being subtle there Smiler, real smooth.” Playitcoolplayitcoolplayitcool. Yeah, you were fooling no one… or maybe you were? Smiler didn’t seem to pick up on anything anyway. Pokerface wins again! Well, a vague attempt at a pokerface that you were fairly certain made you look like a constipated ape.

 

 

“Don’t ask me! He just said it was weird that you didn’t have a secondary magic or something.”

 

Oh jesus on a unicycle, what a hypocrite. “Neither do you!” you protested, still not entirely believing what you were hearing. “You just pretended to be awful at everything so you didn’t have to out yourself and so ya could get out early!”

 

They huffed something about how awful the system was, which was true enough, but it was broken enough that both you and they managed to slip through the cracks and you would be forever grateful for that. You played off your sentimentality by carrying on eating like you didn’t have a care in the world and like “But he has a point, it’s odd. I won’t make you tell me if you don’t want to though, I’m not that much of a hypocrite.” That filthy liar, they were the biggest hypocrite to ever hypocrite. Still you appreciated that they weren’t trying to force you into anything.

 

“Then why did ya ask?”

 

“I’m still curious.” They said it so simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe it was. You shared a history, you were starting to build up something new together. Things would never be the same as they had been in the past, you’d both changed too much, walked down different paths and met at an intersection.

 

Normally, you wouldn’t ever even consider telling anyone, not even Wisp. He may have asked Smiler to spy for him out of some misguided belief that it was for your own good, but it appeared that Smiler had absolutely zero interest in playing that game. They were the last person who’d run off and out you to the world. You could trust them, hell, you did trust them. There may be a massive black spot in your past that both of you were purposely avoiding talking about or even hinting at (actually, you’d both done an excellent job of keeping things in the present anyway), but the two of you were once so close that people referred to you as a single unit. Bagsy and Smiler. Smiler and Bagsy.

 

You didn’t even need to look to know what their soul was like, you’d seen it a thousand times before. Maybe it was rude to look without permission, but it wasn’t like you’d had any frame of reference before the monsters arrived, before you’d been the only one that could summon souls, now you were a single drop in the ocean.

 

You’re gut clenched and you shifted in your seat, deciding to just go for it.

 

“Green.” The colour of their soul, a bright and dazzling green, like the clearest of emeralds and the healthiest grass.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You look green.” You explained, because it made perfect sense to you. You’d built yourself up to that moment, only to be shot down. Of course. You didn’t make sense at the best times, what made perfect sense to you was just a jumbled mess to other people.

 

“Rude.”

 

“No you ass, I was trying to be all mysterious.” You were laughing, genuinely laughing. How Smiler was so relaxed while you’d been fighting with yourself on whether or not to actually go through with this you hadn’t a clue. “I mean that you have a green soul, you utter walnut.”

 

The little runt had the nerve to tease you! They were confused and clueless but instead of being all ‘hey so what did you mean by that my pal?’ they decided to say something dumb instead. You couldn’t even be mad, it was exactly what you’d do in their place.

 

“Cool. I literally have no idea what that means. You could have told me anything. Maybe I actually have a rainbow soul with chocolate sprinkles and you’re just jealous.”

 

As you took another sip from your drink (in part to stop yourself from either facepalming or slapping them) it occurred to you that you’d only said that you could see souls. You hadn’t mentioned the whole summoning business. Oh well, it wasn’t all that important anyway.

 

You finished eating in record time, barely even registering that Smiler was eating like the disgusting sandwich was the last meal on earth. You’d seen something interesting. The seed of an idea had planted itself firmly in your head and had started to take root.

 

You could barely believe that you’d actually had a half decent idea. The tourist information centre had literally hundreds of leaflets advertising various events and places to go around the area. Most of the leaflets were trash or trashy or just simply not what you were looking for. Smiler was losing their mind, you were losing your mind, between you there wasn’t a single mind to be found.

 

You exchanged some meaningful small talk while you tried to remember what the actual function of a tourist information centre was and how much work it would take to get the cute girl behind the counter to save you the effort of calling each venue yourself. You’d gathered quite a few flyers, including one for some stargazing thing that Smiler’d picked out. Obviously you didn’t want to book out all the places, even you’d admit that was going too far. You’d just figured that not all the places would be open to monsters so surely at least one of the places would be cool with your friends.

 

You… wanted to double check something though.

 

The cute girl at the counter had an equally cute soul, a soft light blue. You couldn’t remember for the life of you what it meant, but it radiated purity. Good enough.

 

“Can I help you?” The girl said with a pleasant smile, looking between the two of you nervously. You helped ease her nerves by leaning against the counter and waggling your eyebrows like a pro.

 

“You look like the kinda girl who can work some magic, what are the chances of renting any of these locations for private functions?”

 

Queue ten minutes filled with nothing other than your best pick-up lines and flirtations. The girl working the desk seemed more amused than actually taken with it so you figured that you weren’t making her uncomfortable. She seemed amiable enough, more than happy to help by calling each venue and quizzing them thoroughly on how suitable they’d be for a group of monsters and witches. You were being extra fussy, just because it was a big thing, the last thing you wanted was for one ignorant comment to ruin the day.

 

Smiler was an adorkable shade of tomato by the time you’d settled on a day at the petting zoo, April 17th, a little while after Frisk’s birthday. You’d play it off as a joint birthday/Christmas present for now, but you were planning on getting the squirt a birthday present anyway. You’d also managed to book a slot at the stargazing thing, which was great you guessed. You imagined that the monsters would enjoy it more than you, since you’d sort of grown up with starts being in the sky and they very much hadn’t.

 

You felt like the cat that caught the canary by the time you were done, promising the girl a good review (she wouldn’t accept any money from you, she said something about admiring what you were doing).

 

It was while Smiler was quizzing you on how you expected to pay for the petting zoo outing (you’d already payed the deposit, the rest would be payed closer to the time) that you realised that Smiler was missing out on a very crucial chunk of your character development. You had to fix that immediately through he generous application sarcasm.

 

“You mean to tell me that I never told you my tragic backstory?” You gasped your best ‘I cannot believe’ gasp. Down with the fourth wall. It was time to refresh the minds of your imaginary audience on how the Bagsy they no doubt knew and loved came to be. , “You mean I never told you how I graduated the academy only to find that my considerably wealthy asshat parents had died and that my sole surviving relative had gone missing almost a year prior? Leaving me, poor little me, with untold riches and a mansion to call my home for all eternity?”

 

Smiler dared to remain sceptical, even though what you’d told them was actually one-hundred percent true. It was totally believable!

 

“You doubt me, knave?”

 

“Yes. Absolutely yes.”

 

You could not believe. If Ye Olde English didn’t convince them what was a girl to do?

 

“Tell me peasant, doth thou hast a tragic backstory that rivals ones own?” That’d apparently been the wrong thing to say, they lost their smile in favour of a grimace. It was back as quickly as it went though.

 

“Well you know what? I think I’m in luck, I do! In fact, I lived in an alley for over three years after my daring escape! Imagine, a poor, innocent child such as myself toughing it out over long, harsh winters, toiling through troubles untold! I sold my magical services to young and old alike in exchange for favours. Then I get stabbed for the trouble and find myself living with a robotic celebrity and his adorable ghostly cousin.”

 

Well that was… Well. They won that round.

 

You had a sudden, horrific thought. It was a thought so awful that you had to spin them round to face you and shake them a little just to be sure you had their full attention. This was important, a matter of life or death.

 

“Then I think we might have a problem, Smiler.”

 

“We do…?”

 

You looked from left to right, making sure there were no pesky background characters to ruin the moment. Most sane people had evidently decided to stay where the shops were. Good. Nothing was going to ruin this moment for you, nothing. You had to figure this out. Your whole life, you’d only known one real truth, and here Smiler was, threatening to tear it all away. You couldn’t believe you even had to ask them this.

 

“Tragic backstory, new friends, heart-warming reunion, we both got it all… so.”

 

“So…?”

 

“Which one of us is the protagonist here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *praying that this isn't too much like the equal chapter in the other fic because i had it open for reference and copied/pasted a lot of dialogue but not much else*


End file.
